How to love a brother
by Unknown123190
Summary: How to love your brother...the Seimei way. Poor Ritsuka has no idea... rated M because incest is kind of ... 'mature subject matter' . Is set before Seimei 'died'.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I dont own loveless or their characters, obviously. no enough people write about seimei/ritsuka t_t it's incest but WHATEVER. It's so cuuuuuute...well then Im adding to the collection myself :P Please R&R!!! 333333**

**_To love a brother_**

"I'm home!"

Ritsuka's ears swerved in the direction of the front door, his tail perking up behind him. He placed the book he'd been reading on the glass coffee table and got to his feet. He ran to the front door, his covered feet making small thumping sounds on the wood floors. One of his rare smiles formed in his face; the smiles only his brother could get out of him.

"Seimei!" he chirped as he arrived in the lobby and eyed his brother as the older boy hung up his coat, folded his purple scarf and put it away neatly in the closet. The taller one stretched his arms out, taking a ridiculously long time to do so, keeping his half-closed eyes on his brother's face. He was smiling. Ritsuka fumed and threw himself at his brother, pulling on his shirt, his ears going flat atop his head.

"Seimei, quit teasing," he huffed angrily. His brother laughed again and ruffled his hair with one hand before leaning down to wrap his arms around the smaller boy. Ritsuka's tail waved happily behind him.

"Did you have a nice day?" he inquired softly. He pulled away from his little brother and made his way to the kitchen, examining the area carefully. No broken plates or glass; he nodded and sighed in relief. Ritsuka was following him closely, his ears twitching.

"Yeah, it was fun."

Their mother, Ritsuka informed his older brother, was out at the groceries to buy some ingredients for supper. They had hardly seen each other all day, and that would explain why she had yet to explode today. If she had been home, most likely something violent would have happened while he was still out on 'business' and when his brother was left to fend for himself at home. He didn't like leaving Ritsuka alone with their mother, but some things even he couldn't overlook. As soon as he was finished, however, he didn't waste a second before returning home. If his mother was in the process of stabbing, cutting, hitting or kicking the younger one, he would stop her and stare her down coldly until she whimpered and went to her room to do God-knows-what. If she was already finished, he would gather his brother in his arms and stitch him up with the medicine kit he always kept full to the brim under his bed. If she hadn't done anything, he would keep an eye on her and make he knew where his brother was at all times. It was just a regular day at the Aoyagi household.

Ritsuka was hungry so Seimei cut up an apple into even, equal slices and spread them out on a chine plate before setting it in front of his brother. While his brother ate, he kept his eyes glued to his form, a small smile playing at his lips. Ritsuka did everything so adorably, as if he was born only to make Seimei smile, since nothing else could. Not the comedy shows on television, not any book, not any joke – only his brother. When he smiled, when he tried to clean his room, when he curled up under the sheets of his bed, when he ate, when he laughed, he always made Seimei's hard, cold heart feel warm for just a fleeting second. He prided himself in being his brother's sole source of comfort and protection against the world and the two-legged animals that inhabited most of it. It was hard being one of the only two humans on Earth, really.

Their mother returned from the grocery store, her arms filled with various items of food, including chocolate milk, Seimei's favourite drink. She always bought the favourites of her 'only' child as if she was trying to bribe him into loving her. It was pathetic and he was honestly embarrassed to have come from a creature such as her. When she entered the kitchen, Ritsuke greeted her in a low, saddened voice and hurried out of the kitchen to go upstairs. Seimei ignored his mother's voice as she asked him how his day was and headed upstairs, tailing the sound of his brother's soft footsteps. He was heading to his big brother's room, as usual.

Seimei's room was mostly empty. There was a clean desk, devoid of any stains or papers, and a computer sat upon it, always running. The only other furniture was a single bed leaning against the right wall, a bookshelf filled with thick, heavy volumes and a lonely trashcan near the window. Seimei never flicked on the light switch, preferring to live off the sun's light and, at night, the glow of his computer screen. Ritsuka didn't mind. He threw himself onto his brother's small but comfortable bed, his ears flattening sideways and his tail curling around one of his thighs as he realized, once more, how worse his life would be if his brother wasn't there to protect him and love him. Seimei, he thought to himself, was so selfless! Boys his age, he had noticed, were always out and about at night, hanging out with friends and going to loud places together as well as shedding their ears. Seimei, instead of doing all of that, came home to be with him and stayed all night until morning came and they both went to school. His ears were still firmly planted atop his head full of wavy black hair and his shaggy tail continued to wave elegantly behind him, a small indicator of his mood.

Once Seimei had sat down on the swivel chair and turned on the computer screen, Ritsuka sat up on the bed. "Seimei?" asked Ritsuka softly.

"Hmmm?" Seimei had opened up one of his online games and was clicking on the mouse and typing, his violet eyes glued to the screen.

"You're going to lose your ears soon, right?" he whined, his ears lying flat on his head again. His brother paused the game and turned to look at him, crossing his legs.

"Why would you think that?" he laughed. His tail stood upright and his ears twitched in amusement; Ritsuka flushed.

"Because boys your age are all losing theirs…"

"That's true. But I'm waiting for one person to give them to," he purred. Ritsuka stared at him questioningly.

"Who!?" gasped the younger brother. His eyes were wide and he looked somewhat distressed; his brother wanted to hug him just for that. He was undeniably…molestable.

"Secret," he lifted one finger to his lips and winked at his confounded brother before turning back to the computer screen, "But you'll have to wait a few years before I tell you."

Ritsuka huffed and lay back down on the bed, crossing his arms over his chest, his tail hair standing on end in annoyance. He stared up at the ceiling with purple-coloured eyes, listening to the soft clicking of the keys as Seimei's slim fingers pressed one after the other. Was he slaying a dragon, trying to level up, or maybe buying some new weapons and armour? Who knows.

They stayed as such until the sun set and the room was illuminated by nothing but the computer screen on the desk. Seimei's pale face seemed to glow as the silver light made him appear almost translucent – ghostly. Ritsuka whined; Seimei raised an eyebrow when their eyes met.

"What's the matter? Are you cold?"

Rituka shook his head.

"Can I give you my ears, then?"

Seimei laughed; Ritsuka opened his mouth to retort, feeling he was being made fun of, but the older boy cut him off before he could do so.

"You're still thinking about that?" Ritsuka nodded, embarrassed, "Well, I'll tell you what; when you're a bit older we'll lose our ears together. I'll keep and cherish yours forever."

Ritsuka perked up but his face turned redder still. His brother could be so tacky at times! He never acted that way with anyone else; that made him happy. That meant his brother loved him more than anyone else. Plus, he would feel quite alright knowing his brother had his ears and tail; after all, no one wanted to give 'limbs' or body parts to someone they didn't trust.

When the clock in the lower right corner of the oldest one's computer announced the number '9:15', Seimei closed the screen (not the modem, of course) and picked up his dozing brother from the blue sheets of his bed. Still carrying his brother in his arms, he headed to his room quickly, picked a pair of pyjamas from one of his brother's drawers and headed to the bathroom. How could he still be asleep as he was being carried? Seimei wondered with a small chuckle. He entered the bathroom and sat Ritsuka down on the side of the bath, shaking him awake gently. Ritsuka's eyes snapped open and his tail swished from side to side, brushing against Seimei's hand; he shivered and gulped, then took a step back.

"Seimei?" asked Ritsuka drowsily as he yawned.

"You need to take a bath, remember?"

Seimei made sure to stay out of his brother's tail's range as he turned the faucet on in the bath so that a large waterfall of hot water cascaded down the porcelain tub's sides and created a shallow pool at the bottom. Feeling Ritsuka's thin, lithe appendage touching him forced thoughts into his head that he otherwise was able to keep under control. It was a bad idea to let those thoughts stray, especially during bath time.

"Wanna take a bath together?" he inquired to his groggy brother. Ritsuka huffed as he began undressing, pulling his shirt over his small head and then wiggling out of his pants and underwear.

"You always ask but even if I say no you get it anyway!" he howled indignantly. Seimei laughed, leaning against the side of the tub, letting the tip of his hair fall into the hot water.

"But you do want me to take a bath with you, no?"

Ritsuka looked away, face tomato red, and crossed his arms over his chest. He then got into the bath first, hissing as the hot water warmed his cold skin and making him even tired and sleepy than before. He lay down in the tub, playing absent-mindedly with a yellow rubber duck that happened to float by him while his brother stripped himself near the door. He folded his clothes just as he did with his scarf and placed it near the sink, his eyes half-closed. He then entered the bathtub in one quick, smooth movement and the water level went up drastically, causing some water to infiltrate into the smaller boy's mouth suddenly. His eyes, which he'd previously closed, snapped open and he coughed as water went down his respiratory conduct.

Seimei reached over and rubbed his brother's back, watching him spit out a mouthful of water, his ears bristling. His heart ached; he shouldn't have let something like that happen, no matter how small a deal it was. Such a precious being, small and vulnerable, was not to be harmed. He could deal with their mother but nothing else was to harm the pre-teen boy. Should his brother die…God help Soubi and anyone else who happened to cross Seimei's path.

Before Ritsuka was born, he hadn't wanted a little brother. He was a prodigy child and he awed even the most intellectual of men. His parents loved him and couldn't be more proud of him. He didn't want someone, much less someone of his own genetic code, to surpass him and take so much as an inch of everyone's love for _him._ People's hearts were his to play with, toy with, to control. When his mother had announced that she was pregnant, he suddenly developed rather severe tendencies to break things, to throw fits and to try and slip drugs into his mother's food. His parents were scared. They brought him to a therapist but, since he didn't want to be put on drugs himself, he lied and lied until even the therapist was against the birth of this child. There was nothing his parents could do to stop his behaviour, but somehow the pregnancy went without a single issue and Ritsuka was born totally healthy and on his exact due date.

His father had forced him into the car – at the time he'd been too small to overpower his father – and drove them to the hospital where his wife was waiting, holding a squirming bundle to her chest. Seimei sat on a chair, watching his parents coo over the new baby, ignoring him completely, and his hate for the baby grew with his desire for its death. When his mother called him over to take a look at his brother, he took out the kitchen knife he'd hidden under his sweatshirt and held it behind his back. He held out one hand and his mother placed the little creature in his waiting arms, a smile on her face.

He dropped the knife on the ground where it clattered onto the floor and lay there, unused. Seimei reached over with his now free hand to hold the baby closer, his eyes wide as he watched its eyes, identical to his, watching him quietly, its little ears swerving forward towards him. It was like an angelic version of himself, still full of innocence just as he'd been born without. This wasn't what he'd envisioned! He'd imagined a boy with his father's hard, set jay, his mother's lighter eyes, brown hair and puffy cheeks. This baby, however, was a combination of everything that could be considered as perfect. And on top of that, they shared very similar DNA, if not identical, so he wouldn't be filthy like the other children. Seimei squeezed the baby against his chest and sniffed the small patch of hair on top of its head, satisfied with the milky scent. His parents were completely distraught by their eldest son's sudden affection for his baby brother, as well as the knife that now lay forgotten on the hospital room tiles.

"Seimei, you're spacing out again!" Ritsuka hollered close to his ears. He was holding his older brother's arm, his chest pressed against Seimei's shoulder blades and his tail rubbing the skin just above his brother's backside. Seimei hissed under his breath and quickly shifted so that he could still hug his brother without being quite as close to him.

This was dangerous, he realized. Bath time would have to end soon now that Ritsuka was a bit older and Seimei just all that more frustrated. Didn't his brother realize how close he kept coming to being violated? Probably not.

"Let me wash your back," he purred close to Ritsuka's silky, fluffy ear. The appendage flicked forward and the tip of the hair brushed against Seimei's nose.

"Okay…"

He turned around and handed his brother a washcloth and a bar of soap. The water was beginning to cool and both boys were starting to shiver as the cold air hit their shoulders and the back of their necks. The eldest boy rubbed the bar of soap until the washcloth was slick and smelled like strawberry, then rubbed it slowly on Ritsuka's back in a circular motion. Ritsuka closed his eyes and groaned a few times before he eventually let out a long, husky moan that caused Seimei's hand to freeze. He snapped out of his daze and looked back at his brother who looked rather distressed, his ears pinned to his head and his tail curled around his midsection tightly.

"Brother?"

"Your back is clean," Seimei growled. Ritsuka's mouth turned into a downward arch and he swam over to his brother, who was starting to get out of the bath, and hugged his around the waist. Of course he didn't know he was making it worse.

"Did I make Seimei mad?"

Seimei, who had been holding his breath for the past minute, let out a long sigh to try and calm down his burning hormones and his electrified nerves. He kept his tail where it was, rushing over his thighs, before hugging his brother back. _He just doesn't know…_Seimei thought.

"No, Ritsuka, you didn't. It's late; you need to go to bed."

Seimei exited the bath quickly and, unlike was the usual routine, he got dressed before helping out his brother who sat in the bath, waiting. _Even though he says that…he never gets dressed first…_Ritsuka stared at his brother as he was getting dressed. The water was almost totally cold by then and the soap made a fine layer of white, milky liquid above the water. The duck looked like he was swimming amongst clouds.

Seimei sighed in relief once he was dressed and allowed his tail to fall back behind him. He then reached out and pulled Ritsuka out of the bath by slipping his hands under his brother's armpits, then set him down on his feet on the green plush carpet and drying him with a small white towel. Drying always took longer than it should, of course, but Ritsuka either didn't notice or didn't mind. His shirt was always put on before his underwear and pants and Seimei always hugged him before the dressing was finished. On that night, however, that wasn't the case. The eldest hurried his brother into his underwear quickly without actually helping out and then his shirt and bottom followed. The whole thing was finished much, much quicker than usual and Ritsuka felt his heart hollow out as he followed the stiff, nervous Seimei back to his room.

When Ritsuka was about to climb into Seimei's bed, his brother spoke up. "Ritsuka, why don't you sleep in your own bed tonight? You're getting a bit old for us to sleep in that little single bed."

Ritsuka bit his lip hard so hard that a coppery tasted flowed into his mouth. His hands clenched the bed sheets tightly until his knuckles turned white and his nails made little red welts in the skin of his palms. How could his brother start pushing him away now? He'd promised, ever since he could remember, to always love him and do anything for him, whatever the cost. Was Seimei getting tired of him already? He felt his eyes tear and up and he wiped it away with his sleeve, to stubborn to cry in front of his anyone, let alone his brother. Unfortunately for him, his brother had taken his eyes off his online game long enough to see tears gleaming out of the corner of the violet eyes. He got off the swivel chair and sat down on the bed, smiling mischievously before pulling his brother into his lap. Dangerous, so dangerous, he mused. Ritsuka was like a plumb rabbit running right up to a starving wolf, reading to devour the little thing.

"You don't want to grow up yet?" he purred. Ritsuka shook his head and pressed his face to his brother's clothes-covered chest. "Good. You don't ever have to grow up, Ritsuka."

The youngest boy seemed satisfied and squirmed around in his brother's lap, trying to reach up to give him a small kiss on the cheek. But the squirming, the moving, the rubbing…Seimei growled under his breath in frustration and his tail lashed behind him, entangling itself in the bed sheets. His jeans were too tight, his brother too close, his hormone level too high. Something so cute was just begging to be eaten, taken whole and scarred; but if Seimei had any love to give anywhere in his barren heart, it was for his little brother. Violating him didn't fall into the category of protecting him.

Ritsuka finally managed to kiss his brother's unusually hot cheek and sat back down in the boy's lap, his tail flicking happily. Then he felt something rather hard pushing against his behind and he looked down at his brother's lap. He ears twitched in curiosity.

"Seimei, what's that?" he moved his behind a bit to show his brother what he was talking about – not that Seimei didn't know exactly what he was referring to. Good thing Ritsuka never listened in health class or things have taken a turn for the worst.

"…it means I love you," he explained with a charming smile. Ritsuka seemed unconvinced, his brow furrowed, his nose crinkled and his eyes narrowed as he analysed the situation. In the end, however, he decided he believe his brother and jumped off his lap to lie down on the bed, making sure to leave ample space for his brother to lie down.

"I'll join you soon. I'm just going to level up a bit."

Ritsuka nodded, laid his head on the pillow and dozed off almost immediately. Seimei stood up, smoothed his pants over his legs and stretched. He was impressed at his own self control but, after all, he was always very good at hiding what he didn't want to be seen. Well…he could hide _most _of it. He returned to the swivel chair and sat down, jabbing the 'on' button on the screen and going to a mutated dog creature with his character, slaying it with one swing.

"I wonder what'll happen when he figures out what it is…"

...**Seimei is so awesomely creepy.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I decided to write another chapter, I guess...I got such favorable reviews...so, thank you to everyone who did. I hope it's as good as the last one, at least.**

Ritsuka was sitting at his brother's desk, ears pricked forward in concentration as he puzzled over his homework. Whatever it was, it was taking his whole concentration, even if he might have preferred to be doing something else. He usually did his school work in his own room, because Seimei always _had _to have his computer, but on that day his brother was busying himself otherwise. Ritsuka ventured a look in Seimei's direction and saw a most curious expression on his angular face, one he couldn't place on his own, and so he returned to the math problem. He knew the older boy was looking at a photo album, but what about it was so fascinating he knew not; he didn't care. He wanted the work to get done.

Seimei was, indeed, looking at an old photo album – the only one left in the house. His mother had burned the others because she couldn't bear to see her 'dead' son anymore. She got rid of him, of his memory, by burning everything he ever touched. That's why Ritsuka had brand new furniture decorating his room, but it no longer bothered the youngest brother.

The dark indigo eyes strayed over the many glossy pictures, associating most to memories, some fond, others not. However, one picture in particular caught his eye.

"I can't understand this," whined the small, round-cheeked boy as he held up a rather thick book that weighed heavily in his weak arms. His small ears were shifting left and right in irritation, and a larger hand slid down to pat his head. Ritsuka looked up at his brother but couldn't manage a smile; Seimei took the book away from his and dropped it onto the coffee table – then he frowned, leaned forward and made sure the book was straight on the table. He always was picky that way, unlike his messy brother who threw his clothes and toys around as if he'd been born to do so.

"I would hope so; that's Shakespeare. No six year old understands Shakespeare," he assured his little brother, neglecting to tell him that he, at six years old, had read it. Then again, he was born smart enough; not that Ritsuka wasn't smart, but 'intellectual' wasn't a word he'd use to describe his little brother. Seimei had spent hours pouring over the dictionary to make sense of half of it, and when he was at the end he'd already forgotten the beginning.

"I want to read everything you have," Ritsuka chirped in determination.

"Why?"

Their conversation was interrupted when their mother came in, a small smile playing at her lips, her arms hugging a bag that clearly came from a toy store. The eldest boy had to stop from rolling his eyes; his brother was constantly getting new toys, and forgetting the old ones and his room resembled more a warehouse for toys than a place to live. He didn't mind as much because his brother was always happy to get toys – in fact he often contributed to the growing mountain of gifts he received – but the mess was driving him crazy. He had to grit his teeth almost painfully whenever he entered his brother's room.

"Ritsuka, I bought a present for you," she informed her youngest son as she set her elegant hat down on a cabinet.

The toddler ran from his brother's side, to Seimei's annoyance, and grabbed onto his mother's leg, eyes glued to the blue bag. His mother pulled out an unusually large teddy bear from said bag and set it down in front of the boy, folding the bag and putting it away.

The bear had fur the color of caramel, eyes as green as the lawn during the summer and there was a purple velvet bow, the same color as its owner's large eyes – that was probably intended when his mother chose it at the store – wrapped around its neck. Ritsuka loved it instantly, of course, and was quick to return to his room with it. For the rest of the day, Ritsuka stayed in his room, leaving Seimei to read book after book on the couch, bathing in the sun's light as it filtered through the window, until suppertime when he came down to eat.

Seimei remembered that he had nothing against the bear itself, because if he did it would have disappeared quickly enough. He wouldn't have remembered the incident at all, possibly, had it not interfered in his daily routine. It still bothered him now, as he was sitting on his bed listening to the sound of Ritsuka's pencil drawing elegant numbers and letters on a sheet of paper.

Ever since his brother graduated from the crib to the 'big boy' bed, Seimei had convinced his little brother to sleep in his bed rather than his own. He didn't lie and tell him there were ghosts in his closet or flesh-eating monsters under his bed, no, but he did promise to keep the nightmares away. His brother didn't know what they were, but he gave his younger self such a description that he never sought to sleep in his own bed again. Their parents couldn't say anything about it, no matter how odd it seemed to them and anyone else who found out about it, so they let it go on. Eventually they forgot they ever sought to put an end to it. They had never questioned Seimei before Ritsuka was born, and they soon learned that it was unwise to do so, so they stopped. Seimei was as free in his house as anywhere else, unlike most boys his age.

The bear changed that. The bear took his place, although comparing himself to such a silly toy even in these circumstances disgusted him, and the first night came when Ritsuka didn't. Seimei waited and waited, playing on his computer, waiting for the younger boy to come and slip under the sheets. He never came. So he went to bed alone, unable to control his fury and effectively destroying one of his favourite pillows at some point during the night. He rarely lost his composure, and that night he learned that his little brother was as much his greatest strength as his greatest weakness.

The next morning, he woke up early and went to make Ritsuka breakfast before his mother tended to it. He placed everything onto a small table and heaved it all up upstairs, down the hallway and into his brother's room. He thought, at the time, that he had angered his brother into staying away from him and so he sought to make it better. But when he saw the large bear's beady eyes staring at him from between Ritsuka's lanky arms as he slept, he knew that bear's lifetime was coming to an end. And Seimei is rarely, if ever, wrong.

It took two days, longer than he hoped, to get the bear safely away from Ritsuka without anyone noticing he'd taken it. What happened to the bear was lost amongst his many memories, but he knew Ritsuka never saw it again. When Ritsuka saw that the bear was missing, he barged into his older brother's room, tears filling up his violet eyes, and the eldest boy knew he'd won and a similar battle would never occur. Ritsuka was a smart boy, he wouldn't let it happen again.

"What's wrong?" he cocked his head sideways, arching an eyebrow. He opened his arms so his brother could jump into his lap and burry his small head into his chest; he let his tail brush against Ritsuka's forearm, the long hairs tickling the sensitive skin.

"My bear's gone!" he hollered, ignoring the long appendage rubbing his arm in an attempt to distract him.

"I'm sorry," Seimei whispered close to his brother's silky ear, rubbing Ritsuka's back with one hand. He heard sounds coming from his computer as the online game continued without him, but he ignored them.

"Did you steal it?" Ritsuka asked hesitantly.

Seimei's tail flicked in surprise and it returned to rubbing against the desk rather than his brother's skin. He moved his face away from Ritsuka's and plunged his gaze into the hesitant one looking up at him from a few inches lower.

"Why would you say that?" he inquired.

"…I thought you might have been jealous."

A bird landed in front of Seimei's window and gazed at the two brothers through the glass. The wind eventually picked up and it flew away, leaving nothing behind but a slim black feather. Somehow he remembered that vividly.

"Don't say silly things," he pretended to be offended. He told his brother never to lie, and he tried not to lie to Ritsuka in return – he simply twisted the truth around so it would fit his ideals and plans. He wasn't lying, exactly; he was presenting the truth differently. Besides, he wasn't jealous. Jealousy was a weak emotion, like most of them in fact, so he didn't feel it. He just didn't like someone – or something – other than him having control over his little brother.

"And besides, you don't need a bear to sleep with, you have me," he smiled and ran his hands through Ritsuka's straight black locks because he knew it would irk him.

"Can I put a ribbon around your neck?" Ritsuka smiled at him; his upper gum missed two teeth and one was growing on the bottom set. Seimei was satisfied to see that they were all straight and perfect, devoid of any malformations.

"No," he said sternly. He was no one's pet.

He pushed that page aside, still wondering what he'd done to the offensive bear. Probably something more humane than he'd ever practiced on an actual person. There was another picture deserving of his attention on that page – his little brother holding a plastic shovel in one dirty hand and half his body submerged in damp, dark sand. His mother was in the picture as well, but he didn't pay her much attention.

Seimei had never seen the sea through his eyes but he'd read and seen enough that he wasn't impressed when he saw it stretching before him, outlined by the horizon and the long stretch of golden sand. The waves rolled onto the beach, gobbling up anything in its way before retreating to the endless blue mass it was born from. He observed it for ten seconds before getting bored and lying down on the sand, legs outstretched, and taking out a book from his bag. Ritsuka, however, stood there for fifteen minutes with his feet in the warm sand, eyes wide and too stunned to smile like he no doubt wanted to. Their mother bent down to pick him up and placed him next to his brother, promising she would return with refreshments.

"It's so big, Seimei. Does it end somewhere?" questioned Ritsuka as he attempted to dig a small hole in the sand with his growing, bushy tail. His ears flicked to get rid of the sand that seeped in whenever the wind picked up once more.

"Yes, but it's too far to see."

"Can I swim there?"

The eldest smiled.

"No. But, when we're older, we can go there by plane or by boat," he offered slowly. He saw, out of the corner of his eye, his mother coming back towards them as she fought against the breeze.

"To do what?" Ritsuka questioned excitedly, eyes shinning all of a sudden.

"It'll be a trip. Just you and me."

Ritsuka agreed quickly. Their mother came back and handed her children some beverages: lemonade for the cadet and chocolate milk for the eldest. Ritsuka thanked her but he stayed quiet, staring at the ocean over the top of his book, lost in thought.

When he was done, he insisted on making a sand castle like the other children were doing a little father down with their parents and siblings. He wanted Seimei to come, of course, but the thought of walking around in the muddy sand and having sand caked under his nails made him shiver terribly and he bit back a growl. With a forced smile he refused, and was even more aggravated when Ritsuka's smile turned to a frown and his grip on the plastic shovel faltered.

"Go make a big castle, better than anyone else's, and I'll come take a picture once you're done," he insisted, eyeing the neighbouring sand castles. Some were very intricate. But they wouldn't be good enough, because Ritsuka wouldn't have made them, and that was what would make whatever structure Ritsuka fabricated beautiful beyond words. He smiled to himself when his brother cheered up and begged his mother to come; she quickly capitulated to his demands. She always did, being as weak-willed as she was.

The final product was a bit crooked, the roof half-built and lacking any kind of door or entrance, but he rubbed the base of his brother's ear with his thumb and lifted him up, placing him on his shoulders – while making sure the muddy feet stayed well away from his skin and clothes. Their mother went to get the camera while Ritsuka struggled to get down, afraid he would be dropped. Only when she was back did he allow Ritsuka to return to the ground.

He picked up the camera, held it up to his face, and pressed the little button.

"Seimei, I need help with this," Ritsuka yelled for the third time. It wasn't like his older brother to be so disconnected from the world, as if his ears were clogged with cotton swabs.

Seimei set the album on the bed and got up, letting his feet drag painfully slow on the floor, before standing next to his brother and leaning forward so their faces were nearly levelled. He reached out to let his thumb rub Ritsuka's soft cheek while pretending to think about the answer to the simple math problem. His brother leaned into the touch and Seimei hummed contentedly before writing down the answer carefully.


	3. Chapter 3

**Guess another one's out...took longer than I'd hoped. I do appreciate reviews, of course, so write a bunch and I wont let you down o.o**

There didn't seem to be much of a point to this, Seimei thought with a scoff as the school bell rung gently nearby. All the children, big and small, turned their attention to the school – a gruesomely painted building with an imposing clock tower – before grabbing their stuff and shuffling nervously inside. The first day of school was nerve-wracking for any _normal _person. Therefore, Seimei couldn't care less, and no doubt that was the reason why he'd decided to skip it in favour of walking Ritsuka to school. His brother was, as usual, just as nervous as the other children, which unnerved Seimei more than he'd care to admit; seeing someone so like himself be so…_unlike _him at the same time, was puzzling to say the least.

"You're spacing out again, Seimei," the taller boy almost missed his brother's words as he was thinking to himself. The boy was tugging at his pant leg with his hands, looking up at him almost angrily. His ears were pinned to his head like a magnet to a fridge, and his tail curled protectively around his hips.

"Sorry," he managed a laugh before pushing the hair out of Ritsuka's face, to his younger brother's great dismay.

"Don't do that!" he shrieked, face turning red within seconds. He was always so touchy when near the school; not that he wasn't proud of his brother – in fact, he was – but he wasn't one for public displays of affection.

_That makes two of us, then._

"I'll come pick you up at four," Seimei instructed his smaller self, still busy perfecting his brother's hair. It being a mess was just as bad on him as a sink filled with dirty dishes, so he made it a point to fix it. No matter how much Ritsuka disliked it. After all, it wasn't hurting him.

"Fine, now lemme go or I'll be late," he grumbled as his hair fell right back into its messy state. Seimei sighed.

"Of course."

And so the boy ran off, violet eyes filled with mirth and excitement at the prospect of the upcoming day. Seimei couldn't, for the life of him, ever remember feeling ecstatic about…anything, really, before. Not ever. Whatever feelings he had, if he had any, were surely more of a negative, obsessive or controlling nature. The latter two, mostly. For a fleeting second, just a flicker of a moment, he envied his brother just a bit. But then it was gone and he was fishing through his pocket for a cell phone, decided to make his Fighter's life a living hell on that Monday. After all, he was free, and bored, and Soubi would never let that happen. He wasn't allowed to.

He remembered that he'd left it lying miserably on his desk that morning, and he was left with no other choice but to find some other way to distract himself. He'd have liked to play with his brother, but Ritsuka was in school now, learning useless things, taught by incompetent people who didn't understand what they were talking about. Had Ritsuka not loved school so much, Seimei would have pulled him out as early as possible; the only reason _he_ stayed in school was to keep his perfect image up. He didn't study or pay attention. After all, what he truly needed to know, books could tell him, and so he had no need for teachers.

He wondered what Ritsuka did all day in that stuffy classroom, crammed in with twenty other students. Was he quietly listening to the grown-up, taking notes, or was he talking to his classmates when the teacher's back was turned, kicking the neighbour's chair with his feet just to annoy them? He'd have loved to find out. And whatever Seimei loved, he got.

He pushed the mahogany door open – the one that lead to a large, overly-decorated room – and slipped past the receptionist into a darkened hallway. He could hear children laughing and screaming, but the class number on the doors didn't match his brother's. So he crept upstairs, careful to be stealthy but also to look good while doing it, and checked the class numbers on the second floor. Ritsuka's was the last door on the left, painted an ugly green with a silver door handle. The door, however, was wide open, and Seimei slid against the yellow lockers lining the wall to hide himself from prying eyes. For all the children could not see him, he could see them clearly, sitting round small, rectangular tables, their books strewn haphazardly across the wooden surface while the teacher prattled on about divisions.

There was Ritsuka, sitting straight in his little plastic chair, sharing a table with two other boys his age. Although his ears were pricked forward in attention, Seimei could tell that his brother knew what the teacher talked about before she even explained it – he'd taken the liberty of showing Ritsuka these things years back. Poor thing, being compared to all those filthy idiots sitting around him. His little brother didn't even know how unfair that was to him, how it made Seimei's blood boil to think about it. His tail waved around behind him like a snake, and when it accidentally brushed against a girl's bushy tail, she let out a shrill squeak.

"Sorry," Seimei heard his brother whisper near the girl's ear, his face red once more. The girl smiled shyly and nodded, and although Ritsuka turned back to face the teacher, the girl's eyes kept flicking back to the purple-eyed boy with interest. Seimei felt his elegant tail 'bush up' in anger behind him and he tried to mentally will the girl to pay attention to some other fool. Hopefully one as dirty as her. The only thing that kept him from throwing her out the window was the fact that Ritsuka paid her no mind at all.

The taller boy didn't see time pass as he watched his brother, and was brutally brought back to reality when the school bell rang once more, and the teacher announced that it was break time. The children got up and Seimei backed away into another hallway as Ritsuka and his classmates filed out of the room to grab their snack from their lunch box. He waited until all the children were back in the classroom before calmly walking back to his previous spot and spotting his brother sitting delightfully close to the door with some of his friends.

"Ritsuka, who was that man who walked you to school today?" the girl from earlier asked him as she chewed thoughtfully on a strawberry snack.

"That was my brother," Ritsuka piped. Seimei was satisfied to see that he talked about him with significant pride – not that he expected any less of Ritsuka – and that the friends seemed awe-struck by him. As long as they stayed that way, they'd stay away from him, and maybe his brother if he went to greet them _personally._

"My brother had a lot of pimples, and he stinks," one of the boys groaned, "Yours doesn't. He's not really your brother then, y'know. Brothers are…big and burly and ugly!"

Seimei recoiled with disgust. What a stupid person his brother bothered to speak with. He'd have to clearly explain to Ritsuka the difference between intelligent people – which, as far as Seimei was concerned, was only the two of them – and the two-legged mammals that called themselves humans. They were hardly more than glorified apes.

"He is too!" Ritsuka defended himself as he crossed his arms over his chest. "It's not our fault your brother is ugly."

The girl, who had finished her snack and shot it at the trash can, giggled and batted her eyelashes in the youngest brother shamelessly. Seimei was appalled, but probably not for the reason one might suppose; rather, he wondered when girls had decided to start flirting at nine, ten years old. They certainly hadn't when he was Ritsuka's age, at which time he'd skipped two grades, and would have skipped more had his parents not pressed that he should be around people his age. He didn't try to socialize, nor did he give into his classmate's ridiculous attempt to make friends with him.

"_My _sister won the national tennis championship," someone perked, apparently following Ritsuka's group's conversation. It was a girl sporting long pig-tails and wearing a train wreck of a cerulean shirt.

"Yeah, well my brother is gunna be a doctor, like on television!" Whoever spoke was out of Seimei's eyesight.

"What about yours, Ritsuka?" the flirting pre-teen asked the suddenly disinterested Aoyagi boy. Ritsuka blinked, as if he'd been forcibly dragged out of a particularly interesting daydream, and pivoted on his heels to face the girl, his back turned to his brother.

"My brother…" he paused, and Seimei unconsciously leaned against the lockers to hear better, his tail waving sporadically behind him. "My brother's better than anyone else."

A satisfactory answer – also one that his poor classmates failed to understand. They cocked their heads sideways, glancing at one another, before shrugging it off and shifting the tide of conversation elsewhere. They gabbed on about some popular televised series while Ritsuka returned to his table and pulled out a large, hardcover book that Seimei recognized from his library. He flipped it open approximately halfway and his eyes began to follow a familiar pattern across the pages, right and then down, over and over again. It was a long book, yes, but an interesting one that the eldest Aoyagi boy had enjoyed as well. He couldn't remember all it was about, however.

The teacher called the end of recess and herded the children back to their respective places with a stern look. The rest of the day, they studied math some more, and at some point, while he was leaning heavily against the lockers and being lulled by the monotone voice of the teacher, his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep. Thankfully, he was able to stand upright through his sleep, something he had learned so long ago that he could no longer remember why. He dreamt of nothing and did not witness anything that happened in the following hours; unfortunately, when the lunch bell rang, he was still quite deeply asleep and so he didn't have time to hide before his brother spotted him, along with his _friends_.

"Seimei?" Ritsuka squeaked, his ears flipping forward. The girl stared up at him and bit her lip anxiously when he shot her the coldest, iciest look he could muster, and she quickly excused herself. Ritsuka's newly formed smile faded slightly when he saw her go, but Seimei quickly demanded his little brother's attention. He stepped forward and bent down a little to brush his cheek against Ritsuka's, repressing a snort of amusement when his face turned red and he no doubt forgot all about the girl. His other friends stood a few feet away, awkwardly waiting for Ritsuka to join them for lunch as per usual. He felt the overwhelming need to wave them off, tell them they didn't deserve his presence and never would, but instead he hugged his brother tighter and kept his eyes on the tiled floor.

"Do you want to eat with me, instead?" he offered. He felt a small hand grip his shoulder.

"Can I, really?" he perked up. His friends seemed thoroughly confused but only one of them spoke up.

"But you…you always eat with us, Ritsuka," he pointed out in a defiance-filled voice. He glared heatedly at the taller violet-eyed boy, his hedgehog-like tail bristled and arched.

Ritsuka seemed genuinely torn between the two offers and looked down at his hands, absent-mindedly playing with his fingers. Seimei sighed and stood up, pushing Ritsuka sideways.

"I think he'll be eating with me, if you…_gentlemen_ wouldn't mind," he sneered with a perfectly innocent smile. Even the young, dim-witted hedgehog-like boy caught the hint of black anger dripping out of the older man's voice and he nodded stiffly and lead the way for the other children towards the cafeteria.

"You don't like my friends?" a puzzled child asked, but Seimei felt it unnecessary to answer him and grabbed Ritsuka's lunchbox out of his locker. He grabbed his brother's hand, something that never failed to dissipate his anger, and tugged him outside the building. A few staff members tried to stop him, saying that he couldn't just whisk one of the students away, but he ignored them and continued on his way. Once they were outside under the heavy sunlight, he let go of his brother's hand and allowed him to pick a spot. Ritsuka led them to a large patch of cool shade under a bushy tree, where they both sat down on the dry grass.

Ritsuka swiftly ate the sandwich his brother had put together for him that very morning and chugged down the orange juice, leaning heavily against Seimei's chest, their tails flicking against one another occasionally.

"Were you waiting to have lunch with me?"

"Does it bother you?" he half chuckled.

"No," Ritsuka huffed, kicking his lunchbox aside to stretch, curling into his brother's side and laying his head near his shoulder. Seimei's hand reached out, tickling the soft fur covering the two triangular appendages while hooking his free arm around Ritsuka's body. He cracked one eye open when he heard a cracking sound, only to see one of the janitors who had tried to stop him earlier snooping around. The man was openly glaring at him, clutching a cell phone angrily in his hand. What, did he honestly think he could call the police on _him_? Even if he really was stealing a child, acting like a pedophile, there was nothing anyone could do to keep him from it.

"Can I help you?" he smiled at the janitor.

"That – children aren't allowed outside the building until four."

"Family members are allowed to take the children out of school if they wish," he snapped curtly. He noticed that Ritsuka had drifted off to sleep against him.

"Do you have proof that you're family?" the man seemed extremely doubtful of Seimei's affirmation.

Seimei reached into his pocket and retrieved his student card, complete with his name and address. He threw it unceremoniously at the man, wishing that Ritsuka was far away so he could properly take care of this man. The janitor seemed to recognize his last name, because he gave it back to Seimei and returned to the school, deflated. He felt his brother stir against him and tightened his arm around the suddenly cold body, frowning a little when he heard a small whimper escape the small lips. He touched his brother's forehead with one hand but found nothing out of place.

The school bell rung again, but Seimei simply continued to sit there, looking down at his brother and wishing the day would come when he'd realize exactly how special he was – to him, to his Fighter, of course, to the world itself. It was hard to think that he'd existed without his brother, or that he'd ever wanted to hurt him in any way.

When the school day ended, he shook the indigo-eyed child awake and helped him up. Ritsuka blinked when he saw the children exiting the school, running towards their parents. He grabbed his lunchbox from the floor.

"I missed the afternoon?" he gasped.

"You wanted to sleep," he offered simply.

"What is my teacher going to say? And mom?"

"I'll tell them you were feeling sick, and I brought you to the hospital." He smiled down at Ritsuka.

"But I missed –"

"You know everything you need to know already," he purred in amusement. Why was he getting so nervous about missing an afternoon of school? "Let's go home," he added after a long stretch of silence.

And so they headed home, Ritsuka trudging happily behind his brother; as for Seimei, he kept his hands in his pockets, curled against his leg, even when he saw Soubi watching him from a little ways off. He simply continued on his way, completely ignoring his oh-so devoted Fighter.


	4. Chapter 4

To the (reviewers): [from most recent to oldest] _Written on April 2nd btw…anyone reviewing afterward, sorry._

Fugu-chan: Could not agree with you more xD Crappy grammar makes it unbearable to read, if not impossible. "Could care less", doesn't make sense, does it…? I mean am I alone in the world thinking that? Thank you for noticing that :)

Promocat: Soubi might as well stay in the background…Seimei doesn't care about him much. Trying to stick with the original design and all, so…but thank you!

Icaughtkira: Well thanks…I like it too. I enjoy writing about it, so much.

Carabel: Seimei has a uh, mental condition, apparently. He does view people weirdly xD Thank you for reviewing!

Pheonixfromtheflame: I'll try to 'stay awesome', then. ^^

'm': Will do.

xxLivingPuppetxx234: Thanks…? :P

fugu-chan (2): He'd make a downright awesome (and creepy) teddy bear.

Ravenshika: Depends how you see it. It's not particularly M rated, you're right lol.

'mdevries08': Maany thanks, I feel like writing just for you xd

Nadeshiko04: …graphic way to put it, but I get your point. And yeah, nobody writes about it…'why' being the question. I figured…since no one was posting some, I would.

Pheonixfromtheflame (2): Turned out a story, yeah?

Side note: the chapters are NOT chronological. If you'd LIKE them to be, please ask. Just, don't be confused or anything.

XxXxXxXx

"There's no Santa Clause?"

Seimei cringed somewhat and finished hanging the shiny ornament on one of the higher branches that his brother's short arms could not reach. He watched it twirl momentarily before stopping and he saw his face looking back at him off the mirror-like surface. Dark violet eyes, marvellously well-placed hair and a smile that hid most of his actual feelings and thoughts.

"I'm afraid not, Ritsuka."

He turned in time to see a look of utter horror and sadness cross his brother's face and he wondered if it had been a good idea to reveal the truth. Personally, he'd wanted to strangle his parents for teaching him about something as silly as Santa Clause, but he had always planned to tell his little brother it was nothing but a sweet lie. He'd eventually forgotten about it, and here they were, the youngest already seven years old, telling him about it now. He had to be told eventually, anyway.

"But…why would mom lie? And dad?"

Seimei picked up yet another fragile sphere and reached up to place it on a coarse brown branch covered in green spikes. He was thinking about his answer when he felt a small hand wrap around his tail and tug, demanding his attention, but instead he caused a violent shiver to run up Seimei's spine. He sighed to himself and tried to pry his tail away from the firm grasp, no matter what he really wanted to do. If there was anyone who he should control himself around, it was his young, innocent brother. Unfortunately, Ritsuka had recently developed considerable strength and his tail remained imprisoned by five thin, pale fingers.

"Because that's what they do; they lie. You can believe me, little brother, because I'll never do anything to hurt you."

He wouldn't say that he'd never lie, precisely, because he knew that one day he may have no other choice. His ears twitched unconsciously.

"I do believe you…" Ritsuka sighed in defeat, his tail curling around his thigh and his eyes falling down to look at the floor.

Before Seimei could comfort him any more, their mother entered the room, her arms full of cardboard boxes and bags from the garage. More decorations. Seimei stepped back to look at the tree; it was pretty much filled up already. They'd gotten a smaller tree that year for aesthetic reasons and now they had too many decorations. Ritsuka loved them, and used to play with them as a toddler, so Seimei was decided to cram every last shiny ornament into the tree until his brother was satisfied. Their mother placed the things down on a table and left the room quietly; her husband had just called to say that he wouldn't be home that night. She might have been upset – not that her children cared much.

"What has Santa Clause ever done for you, Ritsuka?"

He smiled at his brother over his shoulder and tied a red bow to a lower branch. Finding it to be a bit overwhelming, he took it off and quickly placed it at the back of the tree where no one would be likely to see it.

"He brings me presents!" Ritsuka cried out, running up behind Seimei and hugging his leg. The eldest boy felt a cheek press up against the lower portion of his back and he forced himself to take deep, spaced breaths but couldn't stop his hand from reaching back to tangle itself within the silky black strands of hair. He couldn't do much with one arm and no legs so he momentarily forgot about the tree, preferring to turn around and placing his free hand on his brother's back.

"No, mom bought you presents and signed his name on it," he pointed out, smiling when he saw the violet eyes close as he rubbed circles on his back.

"Why would she do that?" Ritsuka mumbled half-heartedly.

"People will go a long way to keep a lie alive. Because if you get caught lying, bad things happen."

Ritsuka's mouth formed a small, tight line and he frowned, looking up at his older brother. He was wearing an old, wrinkled shirt that clearly needed washing and Seimei prayed he would remember to throw it in the wash basket so his mother – or slave, whichever – could make it nice and clean. If there was one thing Seimei would wish he could change about Ritsuka, although he would argue that there was not a thing he would alter, it would be for him to be more organized and clean. He tended to run out the door in an old shirt, undone pants and bed hair before his brother could catch him and dress him properly.

"Why would you lie in the first place if bad things will happen?"

"Because often the truth isn't quite right, or good enough." He began to stroke the silky triangular ears as well, determined to get Ritsuka to relax fully.

"What do you mean?"

"You ask too many questions, Ritsuka," he accused gently, smiling still.

They finished decorating the tree and Seimei decided that it was more than time that the youngest brother go to bed, especially considering he knew Ritsuka would be up at an ungodly hour the next morning, wanting to open his presents. He hurried his brother into the bathroom and helped him to wash his teeth properly, and then put on his pyjamas, holding the small hand in his own the entire time. It made him feel calm, to have Ritsuka near him, connected to him. It was selfish on his part, and he knew, but as long as Ritsuka didn't mind then he would continue to find comfort in his brother.

He pulled Ritsuka onto his bed, which he always slept in, regardless of what time or which day it was, and pulled the sheets up so the small body could slide underneath and curl into a ball. He lay the sheets back down and made sure to cover the small feet poking out of the side before getting up and heading for the door.

"Where are you going?"

Seimei turned around and smiled at his brother again, his tail brushing against the cold doorknob.

"I'll come to bed in a little while. Go to sleep, so morning will come faster."

And with those words he headed downstairs, careful to make little noise, and was satisfied to see that his mother had gone to bed as well. A dozen or so boxes already adorned the ground underneath the pine tree, but they were all from their parents. He hadn't added his own presents yet.

Seimei never thought about others before himself – the only exception being the boy who shared his DNA. Even then, however, it would be hard to say that he considered Ritsuka to be more important than himself, but the youngest brother definitely was somewhere at the top of his priority list. Seimei never bought presents for anyone else, never cooked for anyone else, never held anyone else's hand, never dreamt about anyone else, never really thought about anyone else. People were tools; cold, inanimate, disposable. In Seimei's opinion, when people started buying presents for their power tools or kitchen appliances, then he might start giving away presents. Until then, that privilege was Ritsuka's and Ritsuka's alone.

In the quick approach of Christmas, Ritsuka's favourite holiday, he'd made his way to the shopping center in search of some objects or toys that would bring a smile to his brother's rosy lips. He normally only came to buy clothes for them – there were so many people wandering about that he often got knocked into or accidentally touched, and it made his tail fur bristle with uncontrollable anger. Therefore, he made it a point to keep away from that particular place. So, December 21st found him standing erect in front of a packed toy store, holding onto his sanity for dear life. Kids were running in and out, chased by frantic parents; the worker standing outside the door handing out flyers was giving him flirty looks and he had to resist the urge to gouge her eyes out rather violently. Instead, he walked calmly over to the door, flashing her a gallant smile, and stepped into the stuffed store. He'd already picked out the gifts the night before, so he only had to spend a total of ten minutes in the store to find said toys and pay for them. Once they were packed and safely tucked into an ugly plastic bag, he waved at the female worker and returned home.

When Seimei was done wrapping the presents, he slipped them under the tree and made his way back upstairs, making a detour to check into his mother's room; she was asleep already, completely dead to the world. Satisfied, he then went back to his room and was only slightly surprised to find Ritsuka up waiting for him, sitting upright in the bed, a book in hand.

"I thought I told you to go to sleep," he accused only half-heartedly. He was secretly happy to realize that as the years went by, Ritsuka was losing the ability to fall asleep without the warm, secure presence of his brother's body in the bed with him.

"I couldn't fall asleep," crooned the nervous child, closing the book and dropping it on the floor. Seimei huffed and went to pick it up, dropping it nonchalantly on his desk. Wouldn't Ritsuka ever understand the necessity of cleaning up after himself…?

_I won't always be there to do it for you, little brother. What ever will you do once I'm gone?_

"Will you now that I'm here?" he feigned a heavy sigh, striping his constricting dark pants and shedding his shirt. He never was one for pyjamas.

"Promise."

He slipped under the sheets and lay down on his back, giving his brother time to choose his preferred position. Ritsuka usually lay on his stomach, face pressed against his older brother's shoulder or arm, one arm hugging the taller boy's stomach. That night, however, he opted for a 'spoon'-like position; he was almost hugging his knees to his chest, his back to Seimei. Then, when the eldest boy was sure that was it, he reached over and tugged Seimei's long arm over, hugging it to his chest and forcing the violet-eyed teenager to spoon up behind him. Seimei couldn't ever remember his little brother ever being quite this…bold before. Oddly, it pleased him, and he decided that he rather liked this position where he could pull his brother close to him and press his face into the silky black hair presented before him, sprawled over the pillow.

He decided that it was rather inconvenient only a few minutes later when Ritsuka, in an attempt to find a more comfortable position, pulled Seimei tighter against him and he pressed his backside rather firmly into his brother's lap. It's an odd thing to say, that it made him very worried and uncomfortable indeed, because in all honestly there was nowhere Seimei would rather Ritsuka's backside to be. He did not, however, wish to properly pound his brother into the mattress on Christmas Eve, for he was much too young. That does not mean that he didn't outwardly want to, because in fact he quite did.

Seimei attempted to scoot discreetly away from that teasing butt, only to find that to back away any more would mean falling off the bed. And then Ritsuka decided that he missed the warmth his brother's lap provided and backed into him again, sighing contentedly and curling up in a tighter ball. Sighing as well, although for very different reasons, Seimei willed his arousal to go away and settled down behind his brother, hand reaching down to rub the lithe tail that he knew was lying nearby. Ritsuka smiled and emitted a small sound, something suspiciously close to a cat's purr, unfurling said tail to give his brother better access.

Seimei fell asleep many hours later, for he had to wait for Ritsuka to fall asleep before heading to the bathroom for a ridiculously cold shower that he quickly regretted. He then returned to bed and kept his thoughts on boring things – notably school and his mother – until his consciousness slipped away and left place to darkness.

He was awoken at an ungodly hour – somewhere around 5 in the morning – but as usual he seemed perfectly rested when he gracefully jumped out of bed. Ristuka was still in pyjamas, hugging a pillow and smiling regardless of the dark circles around his eyes. How excited could he be to wake up so early?

Ritsuka ran downstairs, still unconsciously clutching the pillow to his chest, and his brother followed casually, stopping in the kitchen to make some coffee. It was a drug, yes, but he wasn't addicted. He _couldn't _get addicted, as simple as that. He just wanted the heavy drowsiness to leave his brain for it made him feel heavy. Once his porcelain cup was filled with hot, black liquid, he went to the living room where his brother was waiting for him, gnawing at his lip in an effort to contain his excitement. Seimei had told him to stay quiet so they wouldn't wake their mother up – not because he would go out of his way to preserve her rest, but because he didn't want her there to ruin the moment.

He sat down on the couch, cup in hand, and nodded towards the presents before his little brother wet his pants in excitement. There was a small, muffled squeal and then the sound of paper being hastily torn apart.

"This one says 'from Santa Clause'."

Seimei looked up from his hot drink and stretched out his stiff tail.

"That would be from either mom or dad, then."

Ritsuka nodded, opened the gift, smiled, and moved on to the next one. There were many presents under the trees, and most were for the two children; Seimei would never dream of giving his parents anything. At best he might give his mother a hug for giving Ritsuka to him, but he'd done that three years ago. That was sufficient. The only present for them was a homemade card from Ritsuka addressed to both of them.

The youngest Aoyagi boy received a large toy car, a few teddy bears from clueless, faraway family members, a few recent video games, some of his favourite candy, a DVD and half a dozen books.

"I thought Seimei got books," he muttered, checking the card to see if it was really his present.

"But you like them as much as I do," Seimei pointed out, patting his pants to get rid of any pesky wrinkles. Ritsuka smiled and nodded, piling his gifts in one corner and picking up some unopened presents in his arms.

"These are for you," he purred, his tail waving as he placed them down on the coffee table, next to the empty cup. Seimei reached out and rubbed one of the furry triangles, ignoring the presents, until he heard his brother whine: "_Open them!_"

Not one to keep Ritsuka waiting, he pulled the first bundle over, weighing it as he lifted it up. A book, of course. He almost wished people would try to make it hard to figure out. He opened it slowly, pulling the tape off so as to not damage the paper underneath (which his parents had cut and tied perfectly, knowing crooked things nagged their son crazy), pulling it off and folding it like he would a towel. He'd throw it out, of course, but there was no harm in it being nicely arranged.

"Why does everything always have to be organized with you?" Coming from anybody else, it might have come out as an accusation or a note of annoyance, but Seimei knew it was anything but. Nothing but an honest inquiry.

"I dislike disorderly things."

It was called _Trevayne_, and since he'd never heard of it he guessed they'd just picked up a complicated-looking book from the shelf and bought it. He'd read just about everything else. Four more books followed, all very thick and written by well-known authors. He was pleased enough…or something like that.

He got a pair of green monkey-patterned pyjamas and waved it in front of his brother, quickly crushing the card in his hand.

"Ritsuka, this is for you," he claimed softly. Ritsuka eyed it for a second and frowned.

"No it's not, it's your size!"

"Uncle says you'll grow into it. That way, you'll already have a pair when you're grown up."

He didn't particularly enjoy lying to his brother, but he enjoyed the pyjama even less. He had never met this uncle and, although he had tales of Seimei and his over-the-top intellectuality, he insisted on sending him childish gifts.

He was brought out of his musings when a small, warm body crawled onto his lap and a head of soft hair lodged itself under his chin. He obliged, hugging his brother close, still eyeing the offending clothes hatefully. His uncle better hope they never met.

"Ready to go back to bed?" he breathed into one of the twitching ears. It flicked away for a moment, surprised by the air blowing into it.

"Yeah," Ritsuka said with a long yawn.

Seimei brought his brother upstairs, leaving the toys abandoned downstairs. His brother was way more entertaining anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

Another one...R&R :D

"Soubi, this is my brother Seimei."

For whatever reason, Seimei had decided that it was time to introduce his Fighter to his precious little brother. It wasn't really that he wanted to share the mirth of being able to spend time with Ritsuka, or even know him, but more that he wanted his brother protected if anything was to happen to him and the smaller Aoyagi boy was left to fend for himself. Soubi would make sure he was alright until he took his very last breath, because his Sacrifice told him to do so. He reached out with one hand to stroke Ritsuka's soft ear, marvelling still at how small and soft it was.

"Would you like to go buy an ice cream?" he asked, handing his brother a five dollar bill. A little hand reached out to grab it and he ran off, tail perking at the thought of a frozen treat. When he was far enough, the eldest Aoyagi boy turned back to his Fighter.

"If I was ever to go away for a while - or indefinately -, you will stay with him and take care of him. Do whatever he asks you to do as if he were me. But don't touch him - never touch him. Even if he asks. Remember that I'll always be there to punsih you if you misbehave...regardless of what common sense tells you," he whispered like a ghost, brushing a strand of hair away from his face.

His timing was always accurate, and his brother came back just as he was done talking, dripping chocolate ice cream in hand. He was smiling, waving the cone blindly in his hand until Seimei cautiously grabbed his hand and stilled it.

"Be careful or you'll drop it," he scolded softly, kneeling down on one knee and leaning forward to lick a drop of chocolate off the pale skin of his brother's hand. Ritsuka giggled and tugged his hand free to lick his ice cream.

He stood up once more, aware of Soubi's eyes glued to the back of his skull. It was a bit amusing, really; no matter how he hurt Soubi, how cruely he talked to him and tortured him, the tall man couldn't help but love him in a sick, dark way. He survived off his master's approval, lived off his praise, loved to do Seimei's bidding. It suited him perfectly, really. Soubi was the kind of person who's personality fit the job.

"Do you...always touch your brother like that?" came the most certainly unexpected, hesitant question. Seimei turned with dangerous speed, his ears standing up and his tail bristling.

"Does it _bother _you, Soubi? Would you like to do something about it? Call the police? Will you stand up and defend a small child in his best interest?" he teased harshly, nearly spitting in his anger. Of course, that would have been utterly unbecoming. Soubi seemed to thoroughly regret his question and had shrunk back, trying to make himself as small as possible. His master liked it when people were smaller than his, so he tried to get him to cool down that way.

"No, I didn't mean to sound accusing, Please forgive me, Seimei," he breathed softly. His old wounds itched as if warning him of future wounds.

Luckily for him, Ritsuka, who had uptil them been running after some pigeons, came back and pulled on his brother's tail. Seimei threw Soubi one last warning glance before turning to his little brother with a soft smile that was a very rare occurence in Soubi's mind. It only seemed to show itself when Ritsuka was around to coax it out of him. He had to admit that he very jealous of the attention and love this little boy recieved, even though he never did Seimei any services or took care of him. It was, in fact, he who seemed to take care of his brother. Soubi had never had a brother, so he couldn't understand his master's fierce desire to protect and support his little near-twin. He hadn't even fathomed the thought of Seimei cooking until he'd witnessed the eldest making spaghetti in a large pot, a spoon in one hand, smiling as he listened to his brother talk about his apparently boring day. What was so interesting about a boy's daily antics?

"I want to go on the swings. Push me!" Ritsuka ordered, raising one gummy fist in the air. Seimei just chuckled softly and followed him to the swings.

He took orders from the youngest brother, too. He didn't even seem to mind it, at all. His reaction to it was different from Soubi's: when Soubi made his master happy, he felt a large part of satisfaction, a little bit of anguish and a little bit of happiness. When Seimei did something for his brother, he seemed relaxed, content and...dare he say happy? No, not happy. Seimei didn't have emotions like everyone else did. He had moods. He was free from the prison that was the emotional cycle of a human, a sad little cage designed to imprison humans in a small frame of lifestyle. They could try all they wanted, they couldn't really stray from the path carved out for them. Seimei was free of all that; he could walk where he wished on Destiny, say what he wanted and feel as he wished, even wipe people out completely off from the face if the Earth. He was a God, and Soubi was lucky enough to have a small part in God's scheme, however minuscule.

"Don't fall off," Seimei warned, making his pushes smaller ever so slightly. The smaller boy was, in fact, going rather high. If he let go he would fly through the air and land quite a ways off, probably hurting himself in the process. And it had...crossed Seimei's mind too. He was worried.

"I won't!" Ritsuka whined indignantly. His tail was curled around the chain, his hair flying about his face wildly. His eyes were smiling even more than his mouth, and although there was nothing more than a small pull on Seimei's lips, Soubi knew they shared a similar feeling.

Ritsuka wasn't a human by Seimei's standards, really. He had emotions, just like anyone else, and his mind worked in simple ways. He was just another person, someone Seimei wouldn't look at twice if they weren't related. What was the difference then...? Was it the DNA they shared? Was being related to God enough to elevate a person to God status? No. Seimei despised his parents, didn't consider them human either. There was something about the little, giggly boy that Soubi couldn't see but that was painfully clear for Seimei to see. He wanted to find out, and maybe...was he _jealous _of Seimei's brother? Yes. That was it. He frowned, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his neck.

"Soubi, come here," he heard Seimei order as he slowly allowed Ritsuka to stop. The little boy jumped off the swing and ran towards the jungle gym, sand flying from under his shoes.

"Seimei?"

"I need to make a call. Please take care of Ritsuka for me while I do," he stated blandly before walking off, elegantly taking his phone out of his pocket.

The fact that Seimei had asked him - using the word _please _- to do this pointed out that the boy really was special. He was not an objet Soubi had to handle, or destroy.

He walked over to the jungle gym, a bit unsure of himself. Handling children was not something he usually had to do, so his first order of business was to climb up the slippery ladder and pull himself up to the narrow bridge that led to another plastic island where Ritsuka was staring down a slide fearfully. He glanced back at his temporary babysitter and frowned in discontempt.

"Where's Seimei? I wanna play with Seimei, not you!" he yelled. Oh, there was the brotherly ressemblance. An uncanny love for ordering people around.

"He's busy for the moment," he paused, "But I would like to play with you, if you would have me."

Ritsuka frowned and his ears turned sideays in thought. Soubi knew because his master did the same thing. The little boy nibbled on his lower lip before nodding slowly and sitting down at the top of the slide. He patted the spot behind him with one hand.

"Slide down with me!"

Soubi crossed the bridge slowly and kneeled down behind the boy, his mind drawing blanks at what to do. His master's orders were interfeering with one another for the first time and his brain was overheating trying to find a solution. He was supposed to give into the little boy's every whim but he could not touch him. That much was clear. What to do, then...?

He looked in between the plastic poles and spied Seimei talking on the phone some ways off, ear glued to the small device, his back to the pair. He wouldn't see them. Maybe this would all be okay, but he had to do it quickly. He sat down behind Ritsuka, settling the boy in between his spread legs, and propelled them forward. They slid down at medium speed, but still Ritsuka squeaked, his tail curling around Soubi's leg and his hands gripping the man's thighs tightly. When they landed at the bottom, Soubi quickly removed the boy from his lap and sat up straight, smoothing down his jeans and wiping off some sand. Seimei hated it when he looked crumpled or unclean. Ritsuka shot up immediately and went to play on the monkey bars, giggling as he swung his legs around.

"Isn't he warm? He's soft, too, isn't he? You just want to touch him more...don't you, Soubi?"

And Soubi knew he was in for it. He hadn't enjoyed touching the smallest Aoyagi boy or anything, nor did he have any desire to touch him further. Displeasing his master was much of a turn off, and as far as he knew he wasn't a pedophile. He loved nothing except his master.

"He asked me to slide with him," he defended himself weakly. Afterwards he remembered that the worst thing he could possibly do was try to elevate himself to a status that deserved to be forgiven. No...it was the wrong thing to say. Seimei actually turned a little red in the face.

"Did he? And what did I tell you?" he snarled.

"Not to touch him."

"And what did you do?"

"I touched him."

"Next time you do it I'll cut off your gubby fingers. The only reason they're still attached to you is because my brother is present." And then he was off, grabbing Ritsuka as the little boy dropped from the monkey bars and fell into his arms bridal style. He laughed and decided to hide behind his brother's back, trying to hide his laughter and moving whenever Seimei turned around, trying to stay out of sight. Seimei humoured him, wondering out loud where he'd gone...

"I'm tired," Ritsuka announced suddenly, stopping the little game of hide-and-seek.

"I guess we'll be going, then. Goodbye Soubi," he said coldly, never even looking at the man. Ritsuka, however, did look up once and when their eyes met, he gave the Fighter a little smile.

"Thanks for playing with me," he gurgled happily, grabbing onto his brother's hand as they walked off. He was six at the time.

"Can I play with Soubi again?"

Seimei sighed, buttonning up his brother's flanel pyjama top. He was having a harder time than usual to ignore the milky white skin that writhed underneath him on the bed, giggling and squirming. More than once he slid his hands up his brother's torso, shivering as he did so. He had a hard time imagining himself living like this much longer...at the least the pants were on now, and securely fastened to his waist. His brother was in too much of a playful mood to notice anything out of the ordinary going on, and this was Seimei's favorite mood for that very reason.

"Maybe when you're a little older," he said sternly.

Ritsuka lifted his legs to try and push against his brother's chest, and for all Seimei had patience with his little brother, his hormones were getting the best of him and it was unnerving to him. He took one leg in each hand to try and push them off and ended up placing them on either side of his hips.

__

Why do these things keep happenning? Only you can make me...feel. Like this.

"Calm down, please?" he asked, the strain showing in his voice.

"Noooooo," Ritsuka argued playfully.

He thrashed some more, squeezing his brother's hips with his legs, shrugging his shirt off once more. Seimei groaned - this was the fourth time he got it off. He took the shirt and threw it across the room after a bit of thought.

"You'll be cold," Seimei warned. Ritsuka seemed to think it over for a second before he giggled and stretched out like a lazy cat.

"Nope."

His brother had no real baby fat. He had a cute roundness associated with young children, but it was nowhere near chubby. His skin was so smooth that it should be illegal. His tail had snuck up from behind him and wormed around on its owner's chest before lying down near his belly button. Seimei picked it up and kissed the tip, replacing it with his own tail. His longer, finer hair tickled his brother's chest and he began to laugh again, trying to grab the tail in his hand, but it kept getting away from his little fingers. He yelled a little, angry that he couldn't get what he wanted. The taller boy sniggered and let his tail get trapped withing ten warm fingers.

"Boys? Are you alright?"

Seimei cranned his neck to stare at the door angrily. Why did their mother insist on interrupting them all the time?

"We're fine, mother," he answered evenly. She waited around the door for a while before going back to her room uneasily. Of course she _knew _how her eldest was behaving. But there was nothing she could do about it.

"Why'd she ask that?" Ritsuka piped up.

"Maybe she thought I was hurting you," he laughed softly.

"Why would she think that?" he whispered indignantly, ears plastered to the top of his head. "It's stupid."

"I don't know. You're right, it is stupid. Because..."

He leaned down, pressing himself to Ritsuka, feeling his control slip some more at feeling their bodies pressed so close together. He rubbed his nose against Ritsuka's before kissing his ear.

"I love you," he whispered.

"Love you too..." he slurred.

When Seimei backed away, he was excited but surprised to see that Ritsuka had fallen asleep, shirtless. He muttered darkly to himself before getting off the bed to pick up the offending shirt that so rudely messed up his ordely room. He folded it neatly and put it on his desk, then returned to the bed to pull the covers over his brother and tucking him in.

He imagined Soubi touching him, his greedy hands brushing against Rituka's hip, rubbing against his legs, ghosting over his chest. He should have tortured his Fighter, made him pay for doing such a silly thing as touching what was his and his alone.

And he hissed at the thought of leaving Ritsuka with this man...


	6. Chapter 6

**Another chapter :) If I had to name it would be...**

**Trouble In Paradise**

**R&R as always, if you please.**

**I don't own anything. Seriously...**

"It's your birthday – cheer up, Ritsuka."

"I'm fine."

The violet-eyed youth threw out his half-eaten candy bar into the trash can, his tail skimming against the sidewalk. He never let his tail drag unless he was truly down on himself, which seemed to be the case on the only day Seimei recognized particularly. A squirrel hurried over to the trash can and stealthily stole the abandoned candy bar, tail flicking happily. Seimei sighed; his brother would never throw out something his brother had purchased for him unless the world was about to end – his world, anyway.

He thought of ways to cheer his brother up, but for all he was a sage in all matters Ritsuka he was not so good at making people happy. He saw a stall vendor handing out balloons for the meagre price of two dollars, his round belly swinging back and forth as he worked. Such a thing didn't strike Seimei as an appropriate gift, so he looking for something else. There was an ice-cream and cake stand near the angel water fountain but, as the forgotten chocolate bar indicated, Ritsuka wasn't hungry or he wasn't in the mood to eat, at least.

"You don't have to buy me something to cheer me up," Ritsuka snapped. His ears bristled in anger as if the prospect of receiving a gift thoroughly disgusted him.

Ritsuka had grown up, and Seimei was starting to realize it. Not that he was _slow _in any nature the word might take but he was in something he could only call denial. His brother didn't want to be coddled and fretted over anymore. He could now reach the top cabinets in the kitchen on his own, cook basic meals, scrub himself down in the shower (he no longer liked baths) and mow the lawn. Maybe it wasn't so much that he was tall or big enough – a few months ago he'd been just the same and still clung to his brother like a bloodsucker – but that he was trying to get some independence. He was tired of being pushed around by their mother when his big brother wasn't there to keep her in check. His friends were starting to grow up and go to parties, and he wanted to go too. He was something of a social butterfly, unlike his brother who purposefully avoided such insignificant things. Having Seimei be proud of him just wasn't something he looked to anymore.

"Then I won't," he drawled.

"I'm 13 now. I don't need you to do anything for me anymore," he continued. (**I decided that Seimei doesn't leave in my story. Why? Because it sucked.)**

"Sure."

"I asked mom if I could go to a party tomorrow night at a friend's house."

He didn't appear to be making a particularly pertinent point but Seimei was getting annoyed at his younger sibling, something that had rarely, if ever, happened as far as he could remember. His tail was making short slashes in the air and his ears were pinned almost all the way back against the top of his head. Ritsuka, after a quick look over at his brother, felt his heart sink. He didn't want that. He didn't _need _Seimei anymore and he wanted to show him that…even if he really didn't want to.

"Have fun," Seimei hissed. Ritsuka flinched.

"…can we go home now?" he tried to sound as angry as he could. It seemed to work because Seimei's back straightened and he slipped his hands into his pockets like he always did when he was slowly slipping into a calm, stoic state of mind that radiated murderous anger. Ritsuka had seen it before, just not directed at him. He shivered and blamed it on the chilly wind.

The passed the angel fountain, Ritsuka grumbling when he got splashed. The followed the zigzagging path across the park, crunching some dead leaves under the soles of their shoes. **(When's Ritsuka's bday anyway?)** Some kids were playing in a sandbox, and while Ritsuka was watching them build a crumbling sand castle he collided violently with his brother's stiff back. He had stopped dead in the center of the path, completely stilled.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

It crossed the younger Aoyagi boy that he'd never actually used a cuss word when with his brother, much less directed at him. He wondered how he would react but then decided that he'd rather not. His brother never swore. He said it was low-class and degraded the user's intellect.

Seimei didn't react physically, as much as Ritsuka could tell. If one squinted, one might have seen the man's eyes turn a tad darker, but no one was paying close enough attention to notice. His tail started moving again as if on its own accord and Seimei turned to face his brother.

"Isn't that one of your friends there?" he articulated with frightening coldness, glancing only once in his target's direction.

And sure enough, there was Hiroshi, a boy who'd come to his house once or twice, trying to ignite something with his lighter – unsuccessfully. When he saw Ritsuka, he stood up and waved, dropping his lighter in his haste. He leaned down to pick it up.

"I'll see you around, Seimei," he yelled as he prepared to sprint in the boy's direction, but an impressively strong hold on his wrist stopped him. He then realized that it hurt. A lot. He blinked.

"You told mom you'd be home for five. It's four fifty-three." How he could tell the precise time without owning a watch was a mystery to anyone.

"Why do you care? I don't," said Ritsuka, frowning. Seimei never cared about his mother's feelings, so why should he now? It was absurd.

Seimei feigned deafness and stared stonily at the boy who was now smoking, leaning against a tree, waiting impatiently for Ritsuka.

"You are who you hang with, you know," Seimei scolded. It was so unlike Seimei to say that and Ritsuka was beginning to think that something was indeed very wrong.

"Leave me alone!" he shouted, trying to pry his wrist from his sibling's death grip. He was blatantly unsuccessful. His brother's fingers were surprisingly strong as though his bones were made of steel and his skin, of ice.

And then, without warning, Seimei let go. His hand dropped back to his side and lay there, unmoving, if not a little tense. Ritsuka, who was still forcing against the hand, fell to the ground roughly, scraping his palms on the pavements. He stared up at the taller boy, wide-eyed. Was Seimei purposefully avoiding his eyes?

Seimei started to walk away, tail fluttering in the breeze, shoulders visibly tensed although he was attempting to hide it. Ritsuka nearly whimpered.

"Where are you going?" He wanted to follow. He really did, but…

His brother didn't answer. He just continued to walk away as if Ritsuka wasn't even there…like he didn't exist. Ritsuka felt hollow, as if some part of his body was leaving with his older sibling. He'd never been ignored by the most important individual in his life before and it was like his life was being forced upside down.

"Seimei…wait," he ordered, convinced that he would obey. He didn't. He was hardly more than a small silhouette now, waiting at the intersection to cross the street. Ritsuka got to his feet, nearly tripping on an untied shoelace, and ran after him, ignoring his friend who was teasing him from afar. He was _scared_.

He was still too far when his brother crossed the street with another dozen walkers. The sidewalks were crowded so near the mall and streets were busy. There was no traffic but cars were frequent. Ritsuka had to push past people, elbowing them aggressively, while keeping his eyes fixed on the tall boy who stood out well enough. He didn't care about waiting for the red light to cross or about the cars soeeding down the road. His heart was beating so fast that he was sure it would explode. What was wrong with him? He was thirteen, for God's sake, and still he was running after his sibling like a lost puppy.

He opened his mouth to call out again but no sound came out; before he could utter as much as a single syllable, the air was forced out of him by the front of a car hitting his side. He didn't know how far or how high he flew but he landed with a loud snap quite a ways off and shut his eyes. Pain shut up his spine and spread all the way to his fingertips like an electric shock. For a long time he couldn't breathe and his chest hurt as if he'd been stabbed. He was well aware of something wet accumulating on the side of his head that was lying on the road. He could feel his foot poking him in a place that his feet could _not _reach under normal circumstances and he almost threw up at the thought. And then, just as he was about to wish for the finishing blow, darkness took control of his mind and slipped away to a painless, dreamless sleep.

XxxX

Seimei only walked away because he was furious; at his brother and at himself. At Ritsuka for being so ungrateful for everything his brother gave him without a single hesitation and for his own inability to control himself. He'd seen Ritsuka wince when he grabbed his wrist. He hadn't outright meant to hurt him but for a second, and he could not deny it, it had felt good for him to feel pain just like Seimei felt. And for the first time in his long, dark life he felt like a monster. He'd felt like a perfect human being when he'd spilled a woman's guts out onto the street and when he'd gouged out that man's eyes out. Because, somehow, none of it mattered. But hurting someone of his own race…that was shameful, to put it bluntly.

He'd ignored his brother's calls because, through his partial self-loathing, he hadn't heard him. They had bounced off the walls of his mind. He crossed the street, trying not to take out his anger on anyone when still in his brother's eyeshot and stood in front of the mall, wondering what to do. He could go home, but frankly he had half a mind not to. He could go see Soubi but he didn't know if he was home. Didn't he do some art crap somewhere during the day…? He didn't care enough to ponder it any further. Someone bumped into him and he pushed them back impatiently.

It wasn't Ritsuka he heard, it was the screams. At first he thought nothing of them – animals got spooked by little things all the time. When he heard a loud snap he was intrigued enough to turn around to face the street instead of the mall, but the crowd prevented him from seeing anything. They were forming a tight circle around something and a few were dialling madly on their phones, yelling at some people. Calling an ambulance, no doubt. He heard someone say it was a child and sighed. Maybe Ritsuka had left the park with his friend and was trying to get a look as well.

Minutes later the ambulance came, sirens screaming. The crowd split into two groups to let it pass, still murmuring in horrified voices. Seimei hadn't moved because he was still trying to figure out where to go as his eyes followed the action. Uniformed men were getting out of the truck, carrying various pieces of equipment. They were shouting at one another. They heaved a body onto a rolling bed and Seimei was able to see a mop of blue-black hair sticking out in a mess. So like Ritsuka's, he mused darkly. Maybe his brother was thinking the same thing.

One of the men looked around in the boy's pockets and pulled out a wallet. He picked through it, pulling out some cards and shaking his head. He finally found what he was looking for : a piece of identity.

"Aoyagi Ritsuka."

Seimei felt his heart drop. They wheeled his brother into the ambulance as Seimei tore his way through the crowd, all manners lost in his fury. People were unceremoniously thrown to the ground, hit, stomped on or victimized by his murderous glare. By the time he reached the scene of the crime the ambulance was driving off at top speed until it was just a little spot in the distance. He turned to the crowd, tail hiked and poised as a dog's might before he attacked.

"_Who the FUCK is responsible for this?_"

That's right. He swore. And for once he couldn't care any less.

**Haha...cliffhanger. Review and I'll update mega fast (although I was just gunna write it tomorrow anyway.)**


	7. Chapter 7

**If I had to name it it would be…**

**More trouble in paradise (oh my!)**

The hospital was a large stone-faced building nestled on top of a rather steep hill. Ambulances ran up and down its driveway at all hours of the day and night, sirens yelling. Since it was the only hospital in a 200 mile radius, it was extremely large and wealthy in its own right. There were some thin, lanky trees decorating the front of the place, as if to provide a view – however meagre – for the patients.

Since the driver of the car had been long gone, leaving his car behind, Seimei's wrath was not unleashed in front of the mall as planned. It followed him like a dark cloud, poisoning anyone who deigned to come near him. As he waited for someone to allow him to see his brother, the hospital staff was the first to outright receive some of his pent up anger. The lady who handed him a stack of papers to fill out was too slow to duck the chair that was hurled in her direction to avoid having her nose broken, red blood spilling all over the pristine floors. Still they left him there, because people were often mad in a hospital. The old man who came to sympathize was effectively shut up by a short but venomous speech that sucked the helpfulness right out of him.

Seimei was not a _violent _person; I mean that he didn't hurt anyone for no reason. If someone got hurt or died by his hand or fault, it was planned. It was a pawn in the grand scheme of things. He did not terrorize personnel regularly, but at that moment while he was unsure whether or not his precious Ritsuka was alive or not all he wanted to do was make the entire world pay for its carelessness. How dare they act so calm and composed when God's brother was dying, or already dead?

He sat relatively still for four hours, glaring holes at the abandoned plastic chair across from him. The other visitors had long ago given up on sitting anywhere close to him out of fear of getting hurt. He didn't care. Whenever a nurse walked past he would harass her from some news but they could never tell him anything because he hadn't filled out the papers, they said.

"Listen, _Helena_," he hissed as he read her nametag, "My brother – Aoyagi Ritsuka - is in this hospital and if you don't tell me where he is and how he's doing you might be joining him wherever he is."

She shuddered and eyed the button labelled 'security' across the room. It was quite far and Seimei knew that. He gave her a look that clearly said 'you really want to give it a shot?'. She did not.

"I'm…I can't-" she bit her lip nervously. "Wait…wait a second, I'll be right back."

He only let her go because trusting her was his only apparent choice for the time. He snarled and sat back down, smoothing down his pants angrily. He probably looked like a wreck and that darkened his mood further. At least the room was sterilized and smelled of cleaning products and medicine, which was a smell he'd always appreciated while others feared it. It meant clean. It meant no filth.

She came back, nearly running over to him; not because she was glad to see him but because she was afraid of what might happen if she didn't hurry. She looked around, trying to spot another nurse or doctor, and was satisfied to find none.

"He's in pretty bad shape, but he's okay. They wanted to put him the ICU but he refused." Ritsuka had been there once because their mom had a particularly big fit of rage when Seimei had been away. Something about it had scared him senseless. No wonder he did not wish to go back. "He's on the fourth floor, room 405. If anyone asks, say you're family," she added on a thoughtful note.

"I am family," he barked. She winced.

"But…the papers…"

He ignored her and turned his back to her, heading for the elevator. He jammed the up button seven times because it wasn't fast enough and when it arrived he insulted every present person out of it so he could go the fourth floor directly. He noticed oddly as he was going up that the stain on the elevator door looked like the motif on his brother's shoes' soles. He'd memorized it so he'd be able to recognize it if need be.

The fourth floor was for people who had been in accidents or had been beaten. There were hundreds of broken arms, mangled legs, open skulls, crooked necks and shattered spines in the rooms he passed but he cared not for any of them. What did they matter, anyway? They would all perish soon enough.

Room 405 was at the end of the hallway, unlike its name might indicate. The door was cerulean, as were all the doors containing children. Seimei thought that Ritsuka wouldn't like being in a children's room. A moving cart holding a few dirty plates stood next to the door, apparently abandoned. He pushed the door open and went inside.

The machines recording his brother's health beeped steadily, all cluttered in a corner next to a tall orange lamp. There was no furniture in the room other than a chair for visitors and a bed, a bit like Seimei's room. Ritsuka was lying on the bed, looking very small and breakable entwined in the sheets, as pale as a ghost. His face was twisted in a grimace of pain in discomfort despite the powerful painkillers running through his system thanks to the nurses and doctors. His left hand was curled into a fist in the sheets while the other one lay scraped and bandaged in the other side. His head was wrapped in bandages and it hid almost the entirety of his head. Because of the sheets, Seimei could not see much more to the extent of the damage and sat down in the visitor's chair.

He sighed and let himself sink down in the chair, his feet sliding on the slick floors, his backside almost falling out of the chair. He rested his neck on the back of the chair and gazed at the ceiling emptily before pulling his phone out of his pocket. He flipped it open and sent a text to no one other than his Fighter.

_Grab a kitchen knife and cut yourself repeatedly on the legs and arms. Don't kill yourself._

Soubi had no right to be happy while his Sacrifice was in pain, that much was clear to him. He would hurt himself, but it would still be nothing compared to how Seimei felt. He felt empty but heavy at the same time, like the Earth was trying to beat him down and bury him in its soil. Guilt was not something he felt, so he did not feel guilty. He wouldn't say he was sorry. But he had done his brother wrong: he had failed to protect him. He had _failed_. Seimei never failed. He almost felt as low as the glorified apes that roamed the Earth in blind confusion, but it was gone soon enough when Soubi answered.

_With pleasure, Seimei. Only for you._

That's right – only a God would have such a perfect servant. Only a God deserved it. He hadn't failed, he had just come across a little bump on the road. Nothing he wouldn't recover from. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, letting his shoulders relax. He had let himself slip into a disconnected state of mind, something he had learned to control years back, and it wasn't about to happen again.

"Sei…mei…?"

The tall boy snapped out of his reverie and his eyes glued themselves to his brother like magnets. The smaller boy was trying to sit up, albeit weakly, so that he could see his brother without twisting his neck around. Seimei got up and helped him sit comfortably, expecting another shouting match for treating him like a helpless child. To his surprise, it didn't happen.

"Thank…you…" his brother breathed slowly. He was obviously having trouble breathing.

Seimei took the opportunity to brush some of the dark hair away from Ritsuka's face. It was wet from sweat and maybe blood and tears. Ritsuka surprised him again by leaning into the touch, something Seimei thought he'd never do again. He closed his eyes and rubbed himself against the hand. Seimei pulled the chair closer with his leg and sat next to the bed, keeping his hand near his brother's face.

"How are you feeling?" he inquired in as gentle a voice as he could muster. He smiled.

"Okay," was the only reply. He didn't seem capable of long sentences.

"Where does it hurt?" He didn't have to ask if it hurt anywhere, because the constant frown of pain on Ritsuka's face was a perfect indicator.

"My head…my arm…my ribs and…my leg, mos…tly," he wheezed.

"You didn't want to stay in the intensive care unit?"

"No. It's scary and they don't allow visitors."

A nurse came in to check up on him. Seimei allowed her to do her job only because she held his sibling's life in her hands in some small way. She hurried out quickly enough.

"I hope mom's not…mad I missed…supper. At five. Re…member?"

Seimei shrugged. He'd been angry when he said it. He could not care less who his mother was asking home for supper.

"All that…matters is that you…'re not…mad, Seimei," the younger sibling mumbled in an obvious effort to make up for earlier. Seimei had almost forgotten about that.

"I'm not mad."

"You were…earlier."

"Maybe," he answered vaguely, trying to steer the conversation away from that subject. His brother didn't need any more grief today.

"I wanted…to be a big boy…" Ritsuka droned on sleepily, squinting against his drowsy haze.

"You are," Seimei assured him warmly. He was smiling again, like he used to. Before…before what?

"I thought…being grown up meant…not needing anyone…but I love Seimei too…much," he drawled on, yawning. Plus, the petting on his head was putting him to sleep even more.

"Being a grown up means you can love even more. And you don't have to love anybody else, Ritsuka," he breathed near one of the fuzzy triangles atop the boy's head. "You don't need anyone other than me."

But now the boy was asleep, half curled in the bed, lying on his side. The sun was setting outside, painting the drab room dark yellow. Soon enough it was dark inside and Seimei flicked the light on because he didn't feel like sleeping.

Sometime during the evening Misaki entered the room slowly, as though unsure of her decision to even come at all, holding some flowers. They were yellow and appeared cheap. She was wearing a wrinkled flower-patterned dress and her face hadn't a shred of makeup, meaning she hadn't been planning to go out. That, or she was too crazy to remember to fix herself up.

"Go home mother," he ordered without moving.

For once she didn't seem to know he was there. She ignored him – she _never _ignored her eldest son – and stood at Ritsuka's bed side, frowning. She didn't place the flowers anywhere, just kept on holding them. Finally, she addressed him.

"What's wrong with him?" she muttered stonily.

"Nothing's wrong with him," he scolded her. She stared at him with scared eyes.

"The hospital called. They said my son was in the hospital," she explained.

So that's why she'd come, Seimei thought. At least it solved one mystery. But now she was here and she couldn't very well go home just yet. She was crazy but she didn't want to show it in public, and leaving so soon would make the nurses curious.

"Put the flowers on the table," he instructed. She did just that. Maybe they would cheer Ritsuka up when he'd tell him it was from their mother.

"When will you come home?" she asked Seimei. She seemed to have forgotten that Ritsuka was there.

"When Ritsuka does. Go home, mother," he repeated coldly.

She turned to start towards the door, then froze. She looked back over her shoulder at the boy asleep on the hospital bed, breathing painfully. She appeared to ponder something.

"When he was born, I thought you would drown him. I dreamt that you dropped him in the bathtub and held him down while we were away. We thought we'd have to get rid of one of you, so I was crying at the hospital. The nurses thought it was out of happiness. But when you saw him, you were okay. My Seimei always did know how to pick apart the good things from the bad. But you took him away from us. He was yours. Not mine. He's not my son."

When her little speech was over with, she left, looking as jaded as before, if not more.

_That's because Ritsuka's mine._

Ritsuka woke up with the sun, his violet eyes appearing brown with the sunlight reflecting in them. He looked around for his brother and let out a long sigh when he found him in the same spot and position as he was in when he fell asleep. The painkillers were wearing off so he yelped in pain as he sat up, the bed creaking under his weight.

"You sat there all night?" He was happy to find that he could speak easier now that the pressure on his chest was lesser.

"Of course. I didn't want you to have any nightmares."

Ritsuka smiled. He then noticed the flowers lying innocently on the table, which Seimei had cared too little about to put in water. They would die regardless of how hard he tried to salvage them.

"You got me flowers? That's tacky!" Ritsuka yelled between bouts of laughter. He could not see his brother going to a florist – ever.

"I did not. Mother brought them for you last night," he said, knowing Ritsuka would be happy once the initial shock blew over.

"M-mom got me flowers?" he breathed, his tail waving madly behind him. Seimei frowned and began placing his brother's messy hair into an acceptable heap; as was uncustomary to Ritsuka, he didn't whine about it. Whatever teenage hormones had taken over his body for the last couple of months had been properly knocked out by that car.

"She did. I know you don't like yellow," he pointed out even if it was just to downsize their mother (considering the flowers had not been for Ritsuka in the first place).

"That's okay."

They spent the morning in relative silence, Seimei leaving only once to buy coffee, hot chocolate and donuts from a coffee shop close by because the hospital food was gag-worthy enough. He drank his coffee in silence while Ritsuka devoured the chocolaty treats, his ears pricked forward in interest. When a short blonde nurse began to drone on about how unhealthy such a meal was, he physically removed her form the room and shut the door loud enough to get a clear message across.

Ritsuka stayed in the hospital for one week, or until his bones were mended enough for him to live without painkillers. That did not mean, however, that he was healthy. In fact, he spent an extra week without moving from his bed and another one at home, watching tv and snacking. At the beginning of the fourth week, Seimei asked his brother to go back to school, not because he was worried about his academic success but because Seimei could no longer afford to watch his brother all day long since their mother didn't work. Ritsuka being hurt apparently didn't change anything in Misaki's messed up mind and, if Seimei was away, she wouldn't hesitate to hurt her son further. For a while Ritsuka even tried to spend time with her, still thinking the flowers were meant for him, but he quickly figured that it had been mostly a forced act of kindness. Knowing his older brother, he'd probably bought them himself and said they were from his mother.

XxxX

"I'm home."

Ritsuka jumped off the stool and wobbled over to the front door, one hand on his damaged ribs. He poked his head through the doorway and waited for Seimei to finish putting his coat away. He always seemed to wear one, rain or shine, fifty degrees or five.

When Seimei was close enough, Ritsuka felt himself being pulled and and he wrapped his arms tightly around the warm neck, ignoring the pain that shot through his body. He felt his brother kiss his ear and snorted. The tackiness always did make him laugh.

"School okay today?"

"Yeah. Erika made me cookies so I'd feel better." He pointed to a bag of caramel cookies lying on the kitchen counter, untouched.

"Your girlfriend?" Seimei teased, setting the boy down. Ritsuka gasped as his face turned red.

"I…I dunno."

Seimei had meant it as a joke, but if it were true…

"You like her?"

"Uhh…yeah."

If Ritsuka were a normal boy with a normal family, he'd have been just the age to start dating a nice girl who did nice things for him. But Ritsuka, being who he was, couldn't have _nice_. _Nice _was for drab, regular people, unlike himself. Seimei felt his disposition change against his will and he grabbed the end of the kitchen counter tightly, his knuckles turning white.

"Seimei? I know I haven't introduced her to you yet but…maybe tomorrow…?"

The clearly psychopathic young man would have loved to say no, slip into her room at night and cut her limbs off one by one. The only reason it was unacceptable was because Ritsuka liked her. Somehow that made her…unreachable. For the moment, anyhow.

"…okay."

"Really?" the youngest sibling's eyes lit up with excitement.

"Of course. Tomorrow, then."

When Ritsuka was busy watching a childish cartoon on the television, Seimei stormed - no, _dignifyingly walked_ – up to his room and sat down at his computer, opening up one of his games. At least he could kill some innocent villagers and get away with it just fine.

**(I know dignifyingly isn't a a word)**

The next afternoon, when Seimei came home, he nearly burnt the place to the ground when he saw a pair of feminine shoes littered haphazardly _next _to the spot dedicated to dirty shoes. That's right, she put it _next _to the spot cleared out for her shoes. He followed the girly perfume stench deeper into the house and found the two teenagers sitting dangerously close on the couch, talking in low whispers.

"I'm home," he said in a falsely gentle voice. Ritsuka stood up from the couch, grinning. He motioned for the girl to stand up too.

Erika was a bit short for her age, a few inches smaller than Ritsuka. She wore some faded blue jeans, a yellow camisole and her dark hair went just past her shoulders in a straight fashion. She was so abhorrently unoriginal that he nearly gagged, but instead he smiled and extended his hand. She shook it, her small nails scratching the skin of his hand.

"Ummm…Seimei, this is Erika. Erike, Seimei," Ritsuka introduced them slowly. He'd never done this before.

Erika liked Ritsuka very much and was glad to have such a nice, sweet boy in her class that year. She was delighted when he invited her over to his house to meet his brother, the man he spoke so highly of all the time, dressed extra nice and washed her hair twice to come over after school. When she saw the elder brother, the first thing she thought was that he was significantly more handsome than his sibling and exerted an aura that made her momentarily forget why she was there in the first place. When she shook his hand, she noticed that his skin was neither hot nor cold and it was very soft. She shivered. But when she finally looked up and locked eyes with him, she saw too much hate and anger in them to be human. While his lips were curved into a smile, she felt as though he would give anything in the world to get rid of her. She nearly broke out in tears.

"Erika…you alright?" she heard someone whisper near her ear.

"Y-yeah," she laughed it off nervously.

"Are you thirsty?" he asked again.

"…sure."

The glare Seimei had sent her felt like it had drained every substance out of her body and she was, indeed, very thirsty. She followed Ritsuka into the kitchen and felt an ominous presence hot on her heels, drilling holes into the back of her head with his eyes.

Ritsuka handed her a cold glass of lemonade and she chugged it down in a not-so-elegant manner before setting the class down. She suddenly felt very hot.

"Seimei! Erika's a vollerball player, you know," the younger sibling bragged, his tail perked happily.

Seimei was seething inwardly. This girl – this boring, uninteresting girl – was making his precious little brother happier than he'd seen him in a long time. He didn't care that she'd won a gold metal last summer or that she had a cat named Rust. What was important was that he wanted to make Ritsuka happy. He could give him everything. He'd love him more than anyone on Earth could, he had much more money than anyone could suspect, he was smart, good-looking and loyal, he had connections and he could have sex just the same. He didn't need this girl. He didn't need _a _girl. So what if they were brothers? This way they already knew everything about each other and could understand each other better than any couple. Why couldn't Ritsuka open his eyes and see all of that? Had he forgotten that he'd promised his brother his ears?

_He didn't even know what that meant. It didn't count._

_Shut up._

"That's very impressive," he complimented dryly.

"You know that new water park that just opened up outside of town? I was thinking me and Erika could go together since…well, you'd probably think a water park is boring," Ritsuka continued, oblivious to his brother's anger and his friend's discomfort.

_Of course water parks are boring. But you're not._

Erika was just too damn scared to say or do anything.

She left not an hour later, saying she needed to go to the store before it closed. When Ritsuka tried to hug her goodbye, she was too scared to reciprocate with Seimei eyeing her with hate from the doorway. She just ran without so much as a goodbye. Ritsuka looked a little crestfallen. They went back into the house and sat in the living room.

"You don't want to go to the park with me anymore?" Seimei broke the silence in a monotone voice.

"You hate water parks, I know you do." He sounded confused. So confused. "Why do you do that? You always go to places you hate because I ask you to. You hate lasagne but you make some for me twice a week and you eat it too so I won't feel bad. You hate disorderly things but you never get mad at me for leaving my things on the floor or making a mess. You hate – and I mean really, really hate – to be touched by anyone. But you touch me all the time like there's nothing wrong with it. _Why?_"

Seimei stayed silent, his face remaining stoic.

"I don't understand, Seimei. It's not just because we're brothers, is it? Is it?" He sounded a bit angry now.

_Maybe he'd catching on._

"You told me you'd never hurt me. But that's what you're doing now. Because you're hurting too, even if it's not exactly the same, because you're not like everyone else. I want to know why you act this way, because if I don't I can't make it better."

_…what?_

"You always take care of me whether you feel like it or not, and if something makes me happy you go out of your way to get it for me. I've never done anything for you, and I want to know how to make you happy now."

"That's not necessary," he finally answered. His logical mind was working hard to place everything Ritsuka was saying and to decorticate every word to understand everything. But for some reason his brain felt like it was working on slow-motion.

"You know how I can make you happy. You know because it always feel like you're going to go ahead and make me give it to you, but then you don't. I don't understand what you're scared of."

_That sounds so crude. It sounds like he wants me to rape him._

"Don't bother," he replied sternly. Things were not going the way he'd planned and as hard as he tried to quickly shape up another one, he was having a hard time.

"Please!"

Seimei stopped trying to make sense of everything and thought for a minute. His brother wanted to know what Seimei wanted from him, and why he was scared. He was afraid he'd lose Ritsuka…wasn't he? No, he wasn't scared, just reluctant. But even if he did tell his little brother, how wrong could things go? Ritsuka seemed very determined to go leaps and bounds to satisfy him. A bit like Soubi, except that Seimei would cherish him for as long as he lived. After all, he was a God, and Ritsuka was his angel. Soubi was just a mongrel.

"Come here, then."

Ritsuka obeyed quickly and stood right next to his big brother, back rigid. Seimei grabbed the front of his shirt with one hand and pulled him forward so that their noses touched and he could feel Ritsuka's breath on his face. Ritsuka still didn't get it and blinked innocently at him. Instead, he moved his hand to grab the back of the smaller boy's head and forced him closer to he could press their lips together. Ritsuka was perfectly still as his brother had fun with his mouth for a while, all brain function shut off, his heart hammering in his chest. After a minute of so, his brother pulled away, panting lightly. His hair was a bit messed up, something Ritsuka had never seen.

"Ritsuka…?"

**Enddddddd (for now)**

**…I'm into cliffhangers suddenly. I know. They suck. I've been on the receiving end too much and now it's my turn. I'm kindof in the receiving end too cause I don't know what's going to happen. Unlike Seimei I just don't plan…at all…**

**Lol Erika. She's not coming back. (or is sheeee?)**

**I decided Ritsuka doesn't like yellow because I don't particularly like it either. Too bright. **

**R&R and I'll update real fast, like I just did. Two chapters in two days. If that's not merit-worthy then I don't know what is. **


	8. Chapter 8

**If I had to name the chapter it would be…**

**No the trouble in paradise isn't over (lol, I'm the abhorrently unoriginal one)**

If you've been waiting for something for a long, long time – in this case, many years – you expect that, when you get it, you'll be uncontrollably happy for a while. Your hands might shake with excitement and your lips might curve into a smile. But most of all, you'd feel overwhelmingly satisfied. But this was not how Seimei felt. His hands didn't shake; they held on tightly to the back of his brother's head, almost hard enough to hurt him, but not quite. He was…sated, to put it simply. Not happy. Not happy because he could tell that his brother wasn't reciprocating his affection, for the moment at least. He was as stiff as a statue and seemed utterly petrified. His lips were not curved into a smile because they were busy pressing against another pair. He was just a little too comfortable with the situation to quit it just yet – but just a little.

Ritsuka's line of thought, however, was a bit different. He knew it was wrong. Those words chanted in his head like a mantra, over and over again until he was half mumbling it under his breath. It was muffled by Seimei's warm lips.

_It's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong – wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong._

A kiss on the lips like this was for girls. Boys kissed girls and that was that. But his brother was doing this to him – why? Did his brother forget he was a boy? No – of course not. Maybe the accident had shaken him up. Maybe he was scared, if he didn't show his younger sibling enough affection, that Ritsuka would go away again.

Then again, his brother was never confused. He only did what he wanted. This was what he wanted.

Seimei finally pulled away, his eyes darkened and hazy. His tail was lying contentedly on his lap, twitching ever so slightly. He reached around and rubbed Ritsuka's tail. Ritsuka shivered.

"Ritsuka…?"

Ritsuka didn't answer. He simply stared. Meanwhile, Seimei decided that he might as well go all the way. There was no going back now. He leaned forward and brushed his nose against Ritsuka's furry ear.

"I love you, Ritsuka."

A little hand came to lie on his shoulder; he thought, wrongly, that he was going to lean forward and kiss him. Ritsuka was just using him for support, since he was apparently losing strength.

"I don't want anyone but you. You don't need anyone else, Ritsuka."

"But-" Ritsuka whimpered nervously, "You're a _boy_, Seimei. And you're my brother. That's not…okay."

"It is okay, Ritsuka," Seimei purred, kissing the wrist close to his face. He'd charmed people before, but never for a purpose other than to lure them into a trap. "As long as we love each other, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks."

The hand on his shoulder gripped much, much harder. It almost hurt except that Seimei had little to no affinity to pain. He could hardly feel it. Ritsuka's chest was heaving and Seimei could almost hear his little heart pumping madly.

"But I…I can't."

"You said you wanted to make me happy." He was…nervous now. Not so sure of himself anymore.

"I do. But this is…I can't," he repeated, his voice promising an onslaught of tears. Seimei waited for him to finish. "All my friends have girlfriends. I want that too. I want Seimei to be my brother, not…" he trailed off, eyes watering.

"Not your lover?" he hissed. His head was pounding as though an animal was trying to claw its way out. And, in a way, that was exactly what was going on.

"I- I guess. Seimei…please…?" he nearly begged. He just wasn't sure what he was begging for. For forgiveness, maybe.

Seimei stayed silent. He was staring at Ritsuka but was seeing right through him, and Ritsuka was starting to feel scared. He was sure he could feel Seimei's body temperature dropping under his very fingers as if he was literally turning to ice. But all Ritsuka wanted…he wanted his big brother. Not his big brother who did dirty things with him. But he knew the big brother was gone, and he wouldn't come back. He was the one who'd pushed him so much. This was all his fault.

"I gotta – I gotta go. I'll go to a friend's house…I'm…you're scaring me Seimei." Silence. "I…I'll be home tomorrow. I'm sorry."

Feeling awkward around the stiff, cold body, Ritsuka braced his courage and gave it a small hug before turning in the direction of the door. He was so sure that Seimei would remain sitting that he didn't hear – albeit the man was awfully silent – or see the elder Aoyagi boy get up and follow him. He didn't see Seimei's eyes, which would have alerted him to the non-presence of his brother in that body. No. Seimei was gone for the moment.

He started to scream when a pair of surprisingly strong hands grabbed him around his midsection and lifted him, but a hand was quickly crushed against his mouth and no sound left his mouth. He knew it was Seimei; he could smell him and feel the familiar shape of his body. At first he wasn't completely terrified but when the hands gripping him tightened until he was crying, he knew something was going horribly wrong. His brother brought him up the stairs, into his room and dropped him onto the bed he'd slept in for the entirety of his childhood. He bounced a bit before the cold body pinned him down easily. It wasn't much use struggling: Seimei was much stronger. They both knew that. He was crying now, not caring that it was unmanly and weak to do so. He was searching desperately in his brother's violet eyes for any sign of the boy he'd known his entire life. There was none.

As for Seimei, well…he wasn't quite himself. He just felt so _numb_, so jaded, that he didn't even try to stop his body when it dragged his little brother upstairs and pinned him to the bed. He'd never felt emotional pain, and it crossed his mind that he might not be equipped for it. He couldn't _handle _pain. Instead, he wanted to hurt the one who hurt even more. His consciousness was protecting itself by retracting until he was healed. So, when Ritsuka was properly stilled, he tore his shirt off relatively easily, his adrenaline-fueled body making quick work of it. The skin underneath was as warm as an over and sweaty with panic. He decided to imagine it was in excitement. He rubbed the pale skin gently at first, happy to be able to touch it sexually for the first time. His brother squirmed when he brushed against his navel. He did it again just to see him squirm once more. He bent down and sunk his teeth into the soft skin of the younger boy's neck, not stopping until something wet encircled his teeth and met his tongue. Blood. Ritsuka was rigid with pain. His brother had never hurt him before. His heart hurt nearly as much as the break in his skin.

When Seimei was done fascinating over his neck, one of his hands went down to pull at the button on his pants. Ritsuka didn't know much about sex, to tell the truth, but he knew enough to tell that this was looking a lot like rape. Rape was bad. He shut his eyes and prayed anything that was listening to stop this. To have Seimei snap out of his daze. When his pants were tugged down violently, he knew that praying was useless and this would happen whether he wanted it to or not. The hand rubbed the skin of his ankle for a while, the body standing over Ritsuka, watching him with an odd look in his eyes.

"Seimei? Ritsuka? Are you here?" It was Misaki. Ritsuka felt hope blossom in his heart – his mother would save him!

Seimei did nothing for a few seconds. Then he turned his head to look at the door, his eyes scarily empty.

"We're busy. Go away."

They heard her shuffle outside the room as if wondering if she should go in. She decided against it. She left. Ritsuka cried. His tears mingled with the blood seeping out of the bite in his neck.

Seimei turned back to him, albeit very slowly. His brain was working horribly, as if suddenly rusted. Thinking was slow. Talking was slow. Processing was slow. He was ignoring all of Ritsuka's reactions to save him some time. He hand moved up the lean leg and he concentrated on the soft skin under the pads of his fingers. He'd touched it before but in this context it excited him. His pants were tight enough for him to take notice of him and briefly consider undoing them. He opted to wait a bit. He dug his fingers into a pale thigh, watching his nails leave red lines. Someone was whimpering. He ignored it. He then noticed, while inspecting the area between Ritsuka's legs, that Ritsuka wasn't excited – at all. He finally met his brother's eyes and saw tears in them; fat, sad, salty tears. He leaned forward and licked the tears staining the red cheeks. What he meant was:

_Don't cry. It's okay. Enjoy._

Ritsuka was just a little bit more freaked out. Seimei would never lick anything or anyone, because it was just filthy. He would never bite or allow someone's blood to hit his tongue. He was scared to never find his big brother ever again even more than he was scared of being violated. He was nowhere near a state in which he'd start getting hard.

Seimei decided to skip a few steps because he was very excited, seeing that body after so many years of waiting, and wanted to come – now. He flipped his brother over without breaking a sweat and reached over to pick up the boy's shirt. He tied it around his face so he wouldn't scream if he so felt the need. He didn't need his mother poking around like a dog. He reached down between his brother's legs and, too lazy at the time to bother hunting down lubricant or lotion, easing three fingers in quickly. Ritsuka went stiff, eyes wide, fighting against the intrusion. Thankfully, his brother had been too distracted when tying the shirt and it felt loose. But he didn't scream like one might expect him too. Instead he moved his face so the bed wouldn't smother his words and turned to meet his brother's eyes. The fingers inside him stilled.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry, Seimei," he hiccupped, "Come back, big bro…ther. I'll love you forever if you want…"

He wasn't entirely sure what he was doing or how he was feeling. He wanted Seimei back – the real one. Now that he was gone, he felt…empty. Maybe it was more than brotherly love or maybe it was just desperation. Whatever the reason, it appeared to work. Seimei blinked several times, staring blankly at Ritsuka's face. The hand on his lower back seemed to warm up considerably. After a few minutes, three fingers slipped out of him and he whimpered at the sudden feeling. Both hands moved off him and he saw, with the use of his peripheral vision, that Seimei was picking up Ritsuka's pants and shirt. His hair was hiding his face. He then sat back up and lay the clothes next to his brother and sat still, silent.

Ritsuka got dressed in a corner of the bed, wincing at the sore feeling coming from his backside. He was watching his brother's back intently, drying his tears with the sleeves of his black shirt. His neck was sore but he ignored it and inched towards his brother slowly, his heart thundering madly. He wanted to reach out and touch one of his shoulders but he was too scared to do so. Instead he stood very near him, shaking involuntarily.

"You're scared of me," Seimei rumbled. He sounded tired and old. He had never talked in that manner with anyone before, but Ritsuka was just happy to hear _Seimei _talk.

"I'm…I love you."

Seimei turned; he was frowning, but not in anger. He had set his hair back in place before he'd picked up the clothes. Ritsuka almost cried in relief at that.

"I tried to rape you, Ritsuka," he snapped, angry. But it wasn't directed at the smaller boy and so Ritsuka didn't flinch.

"Not you. Something else."

Seimei felt like his whole body was made of lead and there was a high-pitched ringing in his head. He wanted to hold his brother against his chest and hold him there for hours and hours. He had wanted to show Ritsuka how much he _loved _him. Instead, he had tried to rape him. He'd never felt so much in his life; he'd always been in control of everything, and if someone didn't act as he please he manipulated him until he did. But Ritsuka held a kind of control over him that no one else ever would. It was dangerous.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when two arms wrapped around his waist and a small face pressed against his back. He heard Ritsuka sniffle and felt his shake.

"Why aren't you running away?" he growled.

"I want to stay here with Seimei. Seimei'll protect me," mumbled the boy attached to his side.

_Why aren't you terrified of me?_

"I couldn't protect you. I hurt you."

"But you're here now," Ritsuka protested.

And then he did something that, fifteen minutes ago, he would have gagged at the idea of ever doing. He let go of Seimei's waist and sat up so they were at a somewhat equal level. Seimei thought he was going to walk off, but instead he leaned closer and, catching his brother completely off guard, pressed their lips together very chastely. He wasn't sure what he was doing or even if he quite wanted it. He hoped Seimei was satisfied.

"…I have to go, Ritsuka."

"Why?" Ritsuka snapped. Couldn't Seimei see that he just wanted his brother to comfort him?

"I'll be back tomorrow, I promise. Sleep."

Before Ritsuka could argue, the smaller boy was pushed down onto the bed and kissed on the temple. And then, as fast as the wind, Seimei was gone, leaving behind only his clean but distinctive smell and a wet feeling on his temple.

He was alone again.

**A/N: Other cliffhanger…no, half-cliffhanger. **

**Yeah…don't be mad at me for the partial rape thing. Romance is just so much better with a bit of angst. Besides, he didn't go through with it, yeah? Oh…I'm a sucker for happy, fluffy endings so don't sweat it. I don't THINK this'll end unhappily…(shit this is turning into a story isn't it?).**

**I just want to make sure you all understand that Seimei had like a bit of a split personality thing, except that the other 'him' isn't really a personality. It's a lot like an animal. It acts upon instinct, mainly, and it shows up whenever Seimei gets hurt. Yes I made this up. Although it was speculated and highly hinted that he did had a personality disorder, I'm just adding to it. **


	9. Chapter 9

"Nisei." **(I decided that Nisei shows up. Soubi's still there…Seimei has two Fighters. That's life.)**

The long-haired man spun on his heels to face his Sacrifice, as icy as always. The only thing that alerted him to the fact that something may be wrong was that Seimei was hunched over somewhat, something he never did. He always kept his back straight and his head high. It was unusual enough for Nisei to pad over to him at a near-jog. He forgot where he'd been heading almost instantly.

"It's late, don't you usually coddle your brother at this hour?" he deigned to tease. He was trying his Sacrifice out, trying to pinpoint the problem. He hit it dead on. His mind reeled as a fist connected with his jaw and he flew back a few feet, toppling over and hitting his head on a trash can. He opened his eyes to see Seimei looming over him, obviously trying to control himself. _Trying to control himself._ Now that was new.

"Would you like to try that again?" he spat. Nisei would have shrugged had he not been a little bit scared. He got back on his feet, touching the growing bruise on the side of his face.

"What can I do for you, master?" He opted for the polite answer. With just a little bit of fear in his voice he'd calm his Sacrifice down. Oddly though, the Aoyagi boy didn't seem to notice the submission in Nisei's voice and continued to eye him angrily.

"I need to understand something," Seimei spat, his tail lashing like a snake. Thankfully the street was empty at this hour or people would have stared at them.

"You need my help?" Nisei flinched when Seimei grabbed his wrist and squeezed in warning. "I mean…my services."

"Let your tongue slip again and I'll cut it off."

"Understandable," Nisei answered, shifting nervously from one foot to another. He was rather fond of having a tongue. "What may I assist you with?"

"Is there a way to obliterate someone's memory? Selectively, if possible."

Nisei cocked his head at _that_. Now he knew something was up between the brothers. Or maybe Seimei just wanted to toy with the boy for fun…no, he was too attached to the boy. Nisei bristled; if the boy was gone, Seimei would have love for _him_, his true partner. Sharing him with Soubi was already an utter disappointment, and then he'd learn that his master's heart (or whatever was left of it, that is) belonged to a scrawny young boy named Ritsuka who had nothing special and did nothing impressive. He'd smiled dumbly at Nisei the first time they'd met, and Seimei had said:

_"Don't look at him you sociopath. You'll taint him with your attitude and lack of common sense."_

Not that he denied being a sociopath. He did firmly believe, on the other hand, that he had common sense.

"Oh, I'm sure there is. There is head trauma…but I'm guessing you mean a safe way to erase memories?"

Seimei didn't hesitate a second before answering.

"Yes."

Safe. Seimei wanted to protect someone. So he wanted to erase Ritsuka's memories after all. This could be very interesting.

"If you inject a person with a large dose of Mortosiline **(of course I made that up -_-) **the part of the brain that controls memory gets damaged. You can't predict or controls what the person forget, unfortunately, but otherwise I don't know. It shouldn't erase the whole thing but it could stretch from a few hours to a few years."

Seimei's mind was still lagging, albeit it was getting better by the minute. He wanted to make everything he'd done go away because he couldn't face his brother. He didn't know how. He wouldn't know what to say. He might revert to his cold self or say something hurtful to the small boy waiting for him back at home. He'd never felt so frustrated in his life and Nisei taking advantage of that made him want to chop the killer Fighter's head off. At least the feminine man had some answers for him, however unsatisfactory they may be. He wasn't sure he was willing to risk destroying every memory his brother had just to cover up something that was, undeniably, all his fault.

_I have more control than this. What happened?_

"What happened, master?"

It had always been a clearly stated rule that Nisei shouldn't ask questions if he wanted to hold onto his balls and other limbs. Nisei had seen his temporary weakness and was trying to pry into it in his little selfish way. Seimei reached out with one hand and let his fingers sink into the long, silky hair slowly, gently at first. He watched Nisei's eyes light with satisfaction like a dog given a treat. He left his hand there for a while before he wrenched his fingers around the strands and tugged harshly, pulling Nisei's head off to the side with a loud crack. The Fighter bit his lip to keep himself from screaming.

"Why is it that everything you say makes me want to beat you, Nisei?"

"I-I'm sorry, Seimei," Nisei hissed through his teeth. The pain was shooting through his skull and it palpitated long after the hand had left his scalp. Seimei knew how to make the pain drawl on for hours, whether physical or emotional.

"This drug, is it hard to come by?"

Nisei rubbed his pulsing head with his own hands.

"Yes, but I can get some, no problem."

"Do that. I need it in three hours at most. If you fail, don't bother coming back, Nisei," Seimei rumbled almost like a cat purring. The thought of Nisei getting beaten to death was nearly relaxing enough for Ritsuka to slip to the back of his mind for a minute or two.

"Of course," said Nisei before running off, his cell phone pulled out of his pocket.

Seimei watched the odd car go by every now and then, as still as a statue, ignoring the biting wind that brushed his cheeks. All the buildings were dark and filled with people sleeping and dreaming. Was Ritsuka sleeping, he wondered. Probably not. He'd wait up like he always did – or maybe not. Maybe he'd lied and he was terrified of Seimei. He might be crying in relief, sobbing into his pillow, while Seimei was waiting for Nisei to come back. When he felt the numbness come back, he forced himself to think fo something else. Thankfully Nisei came back at that moment, yelling out in delight. He was two minutes early.

"I suppose you'll see another day." Was all Seimei said before he took the box and turned his back to his Fighter.

xXxXxXxXx

When Seimei was gone, Ritsuka wailed out once in terror and felt his body shake uncontrollably. His eyes were overflowing with tears as he curled up into a ball under the blankets, currying his nose into his brother's clean pillow to try and detect his scent. Seimei cleaned the bed too often to have left a scent so he was disappointed. He didn't know if he was crying because he'd been violated or because Seimei was gone. He just knew he felt more alone than ever before and he'd wanted his brother to stay and chase his nightmares away.

"I'm not mad at you…please come back," he whimpered into the pillow. It came out horribly muffled.

After an hour of crying and squirming in bed he fell into a deep, disturbed slumber, too exhausted to go on. He was strangely aware as he was asleep that there was no one next to him – that it was cold. Like his brother's skin when he'd gotten mad.

He woke up because he was being shaken by two strong, warm hands. His eyes snapped open, and he was momentarily scared, and tried to hit whoever was on top of him. His limbs met emptiness, as the person had dodged his sleepy, mismatched attempts to harm him. When a hand came to push his hair aside, he recognized it and launched himself at his brother, hugging him around his midsection tightly. He could smell the city on his brother and wondered where he'd been.

"I'm sorry I left you alone," Seimei reassured him, still brushing his hair aside. Much like a cat would, the smaller boy stretched out, yawning loudly, his tail arching upwards.

"Let's sleep now," Ritsuka requested sleepily.

When he grabbed Seimei's hand to pull him towards the bed, he wondered briefly why he wasn't scared of said hands. They had hurt him, violated him in places he wasn't ready to have explored yet. But all he could think of as the larger enveloped his smaller one was that he was safe and nothing would ever hurt him again. If something was living inside Seimei, he'd eradicate it if it was the last thing he did. He would protect Seimei, too, now that he was old enough – in his opinion anyway.

"Not yet. I have something for you."

Seimei's voice was unwavering despite his uneasiness.

"You…do?" he smiled. His brother had gotten him a present as an apology? Well, he wasn't about to complain.

"Yes. It'll hurt a little," Seimei stopped midsentence, realizing how inappropriate saying that was in the current circumstances. He saw Ritsuka make an uncomfortable face but, to his surprise, he didn't run off screaming. "But you'll see later. It's not what you think," he assured with a taunt smile, "I won't do that again."

_Unless you want me to._

Seimei swatted the thought away.

"Okay…"

"Lie down on the bed face-down."

Again Ritsuka winced but obeyed quietly, lying on his stomach on the bed they shared. His tail twitched uneasily as he waited for his brother to give him his surprise.

Seimei pulled an appallingly long needle from the box Nisei had provided him with and examined it carefully. It was already loaded. There was a small note stuck to the side of the box and he recognized Nisei's horrible calligraphy.

_I knew you wouldn't wait for me to give you the instructions, so here they are:_

_The needle is loaded with the right amount of Mortosiline. Inject it into the back of his neck – it's pretty painful. He'll be drowsy for a while and then go to sleep. When he wakes up you'll see the effects. It has no effect on future memories. _

_Have fun_

He nearly growled at the farewell message scribbled at the bottom. He examined the long, wide needle and frowned; it would be more than painful, especially injected at the back of the neck. Was it even worth it…?

"Ritsuka?"

"Yes?" his answer was muffled by the pillow.

"If you could forget what happened today, would you do it?"

There was a long pause filled with awkwardness before Ritsuka made a sound that sounded like a whimper. Seimei turned around, worried as to the nature of the sound, but only saw Ritsuka's pouting face staring at him from the bed.

"No…Seimei told me he loved me. Why would I want to forget that?"

Seimei was surprised, in a word. He rarely was, in all honesty, but if you asked him he'd agree that he was caught off guard. He'd always known Ritsuka was very strong despite his seemingly weak behaviour and exterior, but he seemed genuinely unscathed. That made Seimei worry that he was hurt so much that his mindset had shifted entirely to accommodate his pain.

"I was referring to what happened after that. It's okay to be mad, Ritsuka," he breathed, the needle still hidden behind his back. Ritsuka was too sleepy to notice anything.

"I'm not…I hurt Seimei, and I made Seimei mad. I won't anymore…"

_Because you love me or because you're scared?_

"I was…wrong." He managed to force out. "It shouldn't have happened. You're not alright, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka got mad then. His tail bristled and he sat up on his elbows, his eyes squinted.

"I'm fine! I just want to sleep now, and you're keeping me up," he growled like a grumpy bear.

_He seems fine. He's acting normal. Maybe I don't need to…_

"So you wouldn't forget?"

"No! Come to bed…" he stopped. "Seimei?"

"Yes?"

The eldest brother spun around quickly and leaned to the box, dropping the needle back in. He'd put it away – for now. It might come in handy later. He slid the box under his desk and made sure it wasn't visible unless you bent down.

"What you…did to me…is it something you like?"

_Oh, yes._

"No," he sighed, turning the computer on. He hadn't checked his e-mails yet that day.

"Why are you lying?" Ritsuka asked almost too silently for his brother to hear.

"Ritsuka…I forgot your surprise at the store. I'll go get it tomorrow."

"A store that's open so late?"

"There are some."

"It's not like you to forget things," Ritsuka mumbled. He reached out when his brother drew close, clinging to his shirt like a leech as he once had as a child.

"I've got a headache."

"Oh."

They fell asleep curled up on the far side of the bed, Ritsuka without his blankets – he preferred to use his brother as his personal heater. As for Seimei, for once in many, many years not a single urge entered his body. As much as he deigned to think it, their earlier activities had put his desires to rest temporarily. He'd gotten pleasure out of it even if he hadn't been in control of his body. And as much as Seimei was a narcissist, he sometimes believed he loved his brother equally to himself, so it perplexed him to think that he'd enjoyed hurting Ritsuka. With those uncomfortable feelings in mind, Seimei fell into a restless sleep and slept the night away without waking even once.

xXxXxXxXx

"S-Seimei…"

The boy looked up from the newspaper and eyes his mother sardonically. She shuddered and stopped drying the plate in her hands with the cloth. She was biting her lip as though very nervous and shuffling her feet.

"I h…heard. I was outside…outside. Outside the room…I was."

"As incoherent this morning as ever, mother," he cut her off coldly. But she was determined that morning like never before.

"I heard Ritsuka talk…scream, he screamed but in his head. He talked. But he was screaming…for you to stop."

Seimei stopped reading an article about the economic regression and turned his full attention to his mother. It would appear that, when his mind was 'switched off', he didn't have his near inhumane sense of hearing or sight. He normally would have heard her breathing near his room. He decided to let her go on – Ritsuka was taking a shower.

"Seimei's such a good boy…he's so smart, so smart. Ritsuka, he's not. But he…he's kind and small. He's your boy, I…yes, your boy. But you shouldn't…you can't…don't hurt him, Seimei. I'll tell…I'll tell on you. I'm not scared," she challenged.

Seimei was furious as he threw the newspaper onto the kitchen counter and stood up. His mother's eyes followed him fearfully as he stalked towards her, his mouth curved into a snarl. The fine hairs of his tail were standing up and his ears were pinned backwards. When he was close enough, he pushed her against the wall and wrapped his hands around her neck, squeezing tightly. She flailed around, her mouth open in the silent screams she had heard so distinctively as her son was raped by her other son.

**Oh well, the end of one problem brings about another one…**

**Chapter 9 over :D **

**R&R as always. I enjoy reading them, it's amazing the things you see in the story that I don't necessarily see. Plus I get some ideas.**

**On that note, thanks to the person who offered that Seimei try to erase Ritsuka's memories. It was kind of a good idea =)**

**Oh, yeah, mortosiline does not exist. I don't know if there's a way to erase someone's memory, other than bashing their head into a wall, so yeah. Sorry if you're really into medical terms or something…**


	10. Chapter 10

"Let her go, Seimei."

Seimei craned his neck to eye Ritsuka standing in the kitchen doorway, a towel draped over his dripping hair. He continued to mop the water of his black locks as he eyed his family members attempting to kill one another in the kitchen as if it were totally normal - or maybe it was, in a sense. Seimei could smell his watermelon scented shampoo from where he stood, close to the humming refrigerator.

Before Seimei could answer, Ritsuka shook his head as if deeply disheartened and headed upstairs without another word. Misaki was still alive, fault of Seimei's slackened grip, and had stopped moving entirely. As for Seimei, he kept eyeing her silently, fingers clenching and unclenching around her pale through indecisively. He knew killing their mother was a stupid thing to do - she was their income, after all. Their father paid her good money for her to take care of them (she had long ago gone too crazy to work) and it would stop if she died. He let go of her and she fell to the floor, her back against the wall. Like an animal she curled into a ball and faked death as though it might save her from anything else Seimei had in store for her.

"Go to bed," he ordered, picking up the newspaper and throwing it into the trash. She obeyed, pulling herself up and limping dramatically to her room; she did so enjoy being _theatrical_. Her second son seemed to have developped that habit as well.

Seimei retraced Ritsuka's footsteps up the stairs and into his room, which was comfortably warm thanks to the computer humming on the desk and generating heat. In the weeks that had followed the incident, as it was now named, Seimei had purchased a new, larger bed - whether to leave more room for Ritsuka to inch away (should he feel the need to) or to accomodate both the bodies he left to the imagination of whoever asked. On another, less important note, he had bought curtains that matched with the new bedspread, if only for his personal satisfaction.

Ritsuka was lying on the bed, reading one of Seimei's thick, leather-bound books, squinting; he was in need of glasses but refused on the grounds that it didn't suit him very well. Indeed it did not, but it pained Seimei to see him force his adorable eyes so whenever he watched tv or read a book. Ritsuka didn't look up as Seimei came in the room.

"What are you reading?" he wondered aloud. Ritsuka scoffed to an interior joke.

"_Whuthering Heights,_" he said with a smile. (**My spell check is off, I'm sorry if I mispelled the title, I did off what I could remember.)**

"I didn't like it," Seimei answered as he sat at his desk and opened his e-mails. Nisei, being the attached sociopath that he was, had sent him 17 in four hours. Seimei deleted them all.

He remembered that he'd thought the romance in the book was cheesy, albeit not traditional, and all characters striked him as dislikeable. Then again, he didn't like many people at all.

"Why not?" Ritsuka had closed the book and rolled on his side so he could watch Seimei type away on the keboard, fingers dancing over the keys. He's so graceful in everything he does, Ritsuka thought, his face turning a little red.

"It's not my genre of book," was all Seimei would say, even when Ritsuka pressed him for more. The youngest sibling liked the book, although he couldn't understand all of it, and some chapters were long and pointless in his opinion.

"Is mom making something for lunch?"

That was Ritsuka's way of inquiring about their mother: _Is she dead?_ was what he meant. There was no fear or apprehension in his voice, just blatant, emotionless curiosity. Seimei found that endearing.

"I'm not sure, you can ask her." _No._

Ritsuka simply nodded and got up, fixing his hair like he'd spontaneously started doing a week before. He then went to where Seimei was sitting and sat down in his brother's lap, reading the e-mail Seimei had opened before, his chin propped into one open palm. He'd started doing that two days after the incident **(lol, I make it sound so tragic)**, which again was odd, as if he yearned to be closer to Seimei and not far, far away. Seimei didn't mind. Ritsuka was a bit big for it, and he weighed enough to put cramps in Seimei's legs, but he was warm and the older boy found it to be satisfying. Seimei put one hand around Ritsuka's waist while the other one clicked and typed. He didn't particularly like being watched as he answered Soubi's e-mails - he didn't even deign to open one of Nisei's - but it was well worth it.

"Is my tail annoying you?" Ritsuka inquired after a few minutes, now leaning back into Seimei's chest, his tail flicking back and forth and occasionally rubbing against Seimei's rib cage. He asked this with a bit of concealed laughter.

"Of course not."

"So where's my present?"

Seimei closed his e-mails and started loading his online game, clicking uselessly in boredom and impatience. He couldn't remember buying Ritsuka any present, so he only clicked more furiously.

"What present?"

"It was like...three weeks ago. You said you'd bought something for me."

Irony being what it was, Seimei found his foot kicking the box with the drug and needle in it as he was waiting for the loading to finish. He temporarily forgot about the game and looked down into Ritsuka's amethyst eyes, ears perked.

"I forgot to go get it," he appologized half-heartedly. Ritsuka pouted.

"Then you owe me," his brother stated, crossing his arms over his chest. Seimei almost scolded him for acting so childishly.

"What do you want?" He had a feeling it'd be particularly painful if Ritsuka's previous requests were anything to go by. Ritsuka thought it was _funny _to see Seimei going around looking for some outrageously rare item because he never broke a promise - hence why he never made any, Ritsuka excluded. One time, feeling more daring than usual, he had requested an item that didn't exist. Seimei tried and tried - and, consequently, so did his Fighters - but found nothing. He was downright furious when Ritsuka nervously and guiltily told him it didn't exist, making it one of few days when Seimei had been mad at his little brother.

But Ritsuka only turned in his lap so they were facing each other and moved his face closer, ears flicking excitedly.

"Kisssss," he giggled, blocking the computer screen with his head in case Seimei was tempted to direct his attention elsewhere.

Seimei blinked and replayed the memory in his head to make sure he'd heard right. He then decided that Ritsuka was definately not a regular person, and that that was alright - more than alright, it was exhilarating. In some small, innocent way, Ritsuka returned his feelings, even if he didn't understand the full extend of them.

Cutting off his own thoughts, he put one hand on Ritsuka's warm - he was blushing - cheek and leaned his head forward to press their lips together. Seimei kept it simple, satisfied with feelings Ritsuka's soft, warm lips against his own. It was the younger boy who tilted his head somewhat and brushed his tongue against Seimei's lips shyly at first, then with more insistance. Seimei hesitated, then opened his lips, but was the one to control the kiss, invading Ritsuka's small mouth with his tongue. He groaned a little, shifting in his seat so that Ritsuka could slide farther into his lap, and the boy squeezed Seimei's hips with his legs. Ritsuka was moaning too as they made out, and despite him initiating anything and everything he let his big brother be in control - for his size and age, and maybe more.

Encouraged by Seimei's reaction to kissing, Ritsuka pushed their bodies closer and bucked his hips into his brother's, moaning louder into his mouth. Seimei wondered how innocent he really was, taking advantage of his excitement like that. He groaned again and held onto Ritsuka's hip tightly with his hand, arching a little so that their groins rubbed together. Ritsuka pulled his face away, saliva gleaming on the left side of his mouth. He wiped it off with his sleeve, eyes hazy with lust.

"You're hard," he stated in a low voice, one hand hovering dangerously close to the waistband of Seimei's dark, almost black jeans. He brushed Seimei's lower abdomen with his fingers, biting his redened lip. "Want me to put my mouth on it?"

How he wanted to say yes - yes. He wanted to look into those violet eyes, so much like his own, and tell him that he would _love _to. Instead he rolled the chair back, just to be safe, and pushed Ritsuka off his lap with a distraught grunt. Ritsuka looked taken aback as he stood in between the desk and the occupied chair, his eyes going from lustful to angry and confused. Who am I pleasing by refusing, Seimei thought to himself when Ritsuka kicked him half-heartedly in the shin and plopped back down on the bed, angrily yanking the book open at a random page. Neither knew what to say, and now Seimei was excited and hot, legs spread in the chair. He straightened his shirt and fixed his hair before tentatively approaching the bed and brushing the back of Ritsuka's neck gently with his fingers.

"Quit it," the younger boy mumbled. He gripped the book tightly with his hands; it was upside down.

"I love you," Seimei whispered close to his ear, kissing the back of his neck. Ritsuka curled into a stubborn, protective ball with the book pressed to his chest, ears flattened on top of his head. Suddenly he was his little brother again, in need of protection and adorable in his own way. "You're not going to talk to me?" he teased, almost purring.

Ritsuka did something that looked like a shake of the head. Was he saying no to both of his statements?

"I'll go make you a sandwich," Seimei replied finally, getting up from his kneeling position and going down to the kitchen.

As he was meticulously cutting ham into adaptable slices, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He set the knife down carefully and pulled it out of his pant pocket, opening it and pressing it in between his shoulder and ear so he could use both his hands.

"Yes?" It was a greeting that meant _state your business and then go away._****

"It's Soubi,"

a baritone voice replied on the other end of the line. Seimei frowned and pulled two slices of bread out of the clear plastic bag. **"I found Takaya."**

Seimei tsked, closed the sandwich and dropping it into a china plate. On second thought, he cut up some slices of cucumber and placed them next to the sandwich.

"Now? It's not a good time."

****

"I can't keep him for long. They'll track him soon."

"Fine, I'll be there in thirteen minutes." And then he hung up, put his phone away and went upstairs with the sandwich in tow.

Ritsuka was still denying the world when he entered, so he put the sandwich on his desk but didn't touch his little brother again.

"Here's your sandwich." he paused. "I'm going out, I should be back in an hour. Do you want a massage before I go?"

He heard Ritsuka groan. "That's not funny..."

"No?"

Like he'd hoped, Ritsuka was out of bed and groggily made his way over to Seimei; he then huddled into his side, bangs shading his face. Seimei wrapped both arms around his brother's lean, nearly too-skinny body and kissed his head.

"Don't go downstairs while I'm gone - mother's mad," he warned. Ritsuka nodded. "When I get back we can take a bath." Ritsuka nodded enthusiastically.

For the third time that hour Seimei headed downstairs, put on his coat and scarf in the lobby and went out, leaving his feelings and thoughts behind him in the house with Ritsuka.

xXxXxXx

Ritsuka did go downstairs, unlike he was instructed, to get a glass of juice to quench his thirst. He looked around warily for his mother, and when he didn't see her he went to the regrigerator. He frowned when he didn't see any orange juice and leaned forward to push the milk and butter aside to see if it had been nudged into the back. As he was about to pull back, he felt a cold hand wrap around the back of his neck before everything went back and his body slumped forward, but was caught before it could hit the ground.

"Got you..."

xXxXxXx

"Soubi, where are you? I'm wasting my time," Seimei spat, looking around the apartment disinterestedly. He'd been there twice before, once to check and see if it was appropriate and another time to get Soubi when his cell phone had broken. Now he couldn't see his Fighter or his annoying blonde companion.

"Here..." a low voice answered. It seemed to come from the bathroom so that's where the Aoyagi boy went, kicking the door open with his foot. Soubi was standing next to the toilet in his art clothes, paint splattered all over the white cotton shirt.

"Where's Takaya?"

"He's not here," the Fighter answered, gazing sideways.

"Did they take him back?" It was a warning, not a queestion, but only someone who knew the man very well could know that.

"He was never here," Soubi sighed.

"Why did you tell me he was? You _lied _to me, you unloved _fuck_," he spat, eyes narrowed and ears flat. I'm sure I've said this before, but Seimei never sweared unless he was about to kill or he felt his very was of life was being shamelessly threatened. Soubi shuddered.

"...Forgive me."

****

And that's it for now. I'm sorry for the late update, I was busy...or not in the mood. I hope you like it (I aim to please), and you read and review. That's my all time favorite. Some people do a 'if I get X reviews I'll update', but that seems a little unfair...so don't give me a reason to start using it :)

And if you have ideas, do share...I'm running out of them, which is unusual, but whatever. I'm not a writer in the sense so I don't have writer's block, I'm fresh outta new shit to write is all.

Awwww...poor Ritsuka though. He's gotta be so confused.

__

It's so wrong and yet...so very, very right.

P.S: If anyone guesses who abducted Ritsuka gets to make up one chapter and I'll do whatever he/she says. If that sounds like too much work, I'll just dedicate something to you. If you're not interested, nothing happens ... And no it's not Voldemort or Darth Vador.


	11. Chapter 11

He woke up upside down, so he blinked and tried to wake up again - to no avail. Every time he would open his eyes and see the upside down chair, walls and windows. His head pounded painfully and he could feel blood tricking down - or up - his face, warm and thick, tickling his eyelashes. He managed to force his eyes upwards and saw that his legs were unceremoniously tied together with a mangy rope, and his arms bound behind his back. He felt very much like a fish about to be cut and have his insides pulled out. He tried to cry and found his throat too constricted to do so.

The room was empty on the side he could see, and out of the window he could see nothing but the grey, dull wall of another building facing it. It was raining; he usually liked the calm sound of the rain, but as he hung upside down he found it anything but. The walls were whitewashed and he could spot, through the haze in his mind, some dents in it as though it had been punched several times.

"We can't leave him hanging like that," someone hissed under their breath - it came from behind him. "He'll bleed to death out of his nose."

"Don't be stupid - he'll be fine," another person spat in a high-pitched voice. For some reason, Ritsuka thought he recognized it, but couldn't pinpoint the voice's owner in his mind. He only felt like falling asleep again...

"He's hogtied, it's not like you're achieving much by letting him hang from the ceiling like dead meat," said the first person again. They were both men, Ritsuka realized.

"It's entertaining." There was a sickening laugh and the sound of chairs scraping against the floor.

"I'm never working for you again, Nisei."

__

Nisei...that's Seimei's friend.

"You don't have a choice. If I don't keep you safe, Seimei will pull your guts out - or would you enjoy that?"

"You're the sick fuck here, not _me_," the one who was not Nisei whimpered defensively. Nisei snorted; it was easy to determine which one was which. Nisei sounded like a runaway mental patient, if anything, and the other man sounded downright scared. Ritsuka was surprised to find that he was relatively calm - or maybe it was the bloodloss?

"What will you do when Seimei catches you? Poor Nisei..." the unknown abductor teased, moving around with loud footsteps and shuffling, rustling clothes. Ritsuka bristled, for he was moving closer, but remained still.

"He _won't._ By the time he even thinks of me little Ritsuka will be long gone," Nisei snickered. Ritsuka felt tears prickle in the corner of his eyes.

"You'll kill him - just like that?" said the other reproachefully.

"I was going to sell him to the prostitution market, but it wouldn't be safe - there's always a chance it'll come back and bite me in the ass," responded Nisei smartly.

"You're controlling your tendencies - if I liked you even a bit I'd say I'm proud of you."

"You don't like me? I'm insulted, now, don't go saying such rude things like you mean them..."

Ritsuka zoned out of their idiotic bickering when the conversation veered from anything important or relevant to the current situation. When he heard the anger swelling in their voices, he dared to try out his bonds and found them quite tight and meticulously tied. He would not wriggle out of them. His heard was spinning faster and faster, so he forced himself to concentrate. He spotted no sharp object or phone. The room was bare and there were two violence-inclined men arguing a few feet behind him, one of which Ritsuka remembered was quite tall and, despite his nimble figure, strong enough. He began to lose hope as blood continued to pour down his face like water from a tap.

"Just look at the pool of blood - he's going to die, so either finish him off or let him down. I don't like to see people suffer," the unknown man sauntered, closer than even to Ritsuka.

"I want to talk to him first. When he wakes up-" Nisei was cut off when Ritsuka began to whimper and squirm, now too desperate to care. His small heart was thundering in his chest now, all thoughts of escape overriden by thoughts of saving his ass. "See! He's so obediant, isn't he? I don't like his skinny ass, or his fakely innocent eyes, but I do understand why Seimei loves him."

"Let him down!" the man shrieked. Nisei told him to shut up in an uncharacteristically high voice before Ritsuke heard something sawing through the rope tying him to the ceiling. He was too dizzy to care much when he slammed down into the floor, hard, and his head split open. He could barely feel it, but he heard the man swear indignantly. "_Gently?_"

"He's fine," Nisei dismissed, flipping the boy over so he lay on his back. Ritsuka whimpered helplessly again, blinking profusely.

"Obviously," the man scoffed sarcastically. Nisei ignored him.

"Little Ritsuka," Nisei cooed, wiping dirt off his cheek in mock-kindness. Even half-conscious, Ritsuka could see mirth swimming in those dark eyes. "How are we today?"

His answer was a growl and a flick of his tail.

"Seimei always rants about how polite you are, but you won't even ask me how I am, in turn. You don't want to disapoint your brother, do you?"

Where was Seimei? Ritsuka thought with a shudder. He wasn't supposed to allow this to happen, he should have protected his brother. All Ritsuka could muster was anger. He mind reeled some more when Nisei punched him in the jaw.

"Well?" He spat expectantly.

Ritsuka could see the other man now. He was dressed all in black except for a navy blue hat and a ring in his finger. He was married. His hair was well-cut and proper, his fingernails clean, his clothes ironned, his figure trim and Ritsuka wondered if he was a businessman. He didn't strike him as evil, however, so the young boy sent him the most distressed eyes he could muster - to no avail. The man looked away and stared at his shoes.

"How are you?" he finally managed, looking anywhere but at Nisei. The older man hummed appreciatively.

"I'm very good, thank you. Tell me something, while we're still able to have this pleasant conversation," He smiled. Ritsuka let his ears flatten against his head, flooding them with thick red liquid. "Has Seimei fucked you yet?"

Ritsuka blinked, then flushed. The man sputtered.

"W-what? Nisei, just get it over with-"

"Shut up Takaya. Go outside and smoke," he ordered. Takaya did not want to leave Nisei alone with the boy - not that it was much consolation for either of them - so he simply agreed to shut up.

"Answer me, boy."

"No," he murmured weakly, trying not to think about it. He shut his eyes, trying to block out the sights and sounds around him. Nisei roughly tugged on his ears until he opened them again.

"Look at me when I talk to you and tell me the truth. He has, hasn't he?"

"No." Ironically enough, it was the truth. Nisei snarled, picked Ritsuka up by his collar and slammed his head against the floor again. The younger boy yelled and squirmed but could not even move an inch.

"Why would you lie? It won't change anything if you tell me. I'm going to kill you either way."

xXxXxXx

When Seimei got home, he didn't even bother to fold his scarf or coat. He nearly kicked the door open in his rage, but managed to keep calm long enough to get upstairs and call for his little brother in a tense voice. When no one answered, he called louder, hoping and praying Ritsuka wasn't in the mood to play some ridiculous and childish game - like hide-and-seek. Again there was no answer, so he looked into both their rooms but found no one. Next he scoured the kitchen, the bathroom, his mother's bedroom (she was fast asleep under the blankets, alone), the lobby, the living room, the dining room and the yard, in that order. Ritsuka was nowhere to be found.

"He went to a friend's without telling me?" he wondered aloud, astounded. His rage had nearly faded and was replaced by some confusion and annoyance. He went back inside and sat in the living room, opening and closing his cell phone a few times, debating whether or not to send an ambulance to Soubi's appartment. It was more a precaution than worry or care, but he was better off with a disobediant Fighter than none at all, putting Nisei aside. Besides, he wasn't quite done with Soubi. In a moment of mercy he dialed the number and told the woman the adress to Soubi's appartment. Once he was done he turned the tv on to the News Channel and watched it boredly.

One hour passed and Seimei went to make supper, thinking maybe Ritsuka would show up by then. He made pasta with tomato sauce, enough for two. Misaki could feed her self by her lonesome.

Two hours passed and Seimei put Ritsuka's portion in the refrigerator, annoyed because it was getting dark outside and his brother still wans't home.

Three hours passed and he was killing his nervousness by watching a special on genetics on tv, sipping an energy drink. Instead of giving his a boost, an energy drink calmed his nerves for some odd reason so he keeped the fridge stocked with them.

Four hours passed and Seimei called all of Ritsuka's friends, not bothering to act polite and charming. No one knew where Ritsuka was and most added 'and I wouldn't tell you even if I knew!', to which he responded by hanging up. He mentally thought of all the places his little brother could be, but none of them would require him to leave for hours on end without telling anyone.

Five hours passed and Seimei decided to go look for him. As he was putting on his coat again, he noticed that all of Ritsuka's shoes and coats were still where they had been when he'd left. Nothing had moved an inch. It was freezing outside too, more so now that it was dark, and Ritsuka disliked being cold and always bundled up properly.

Seimei finished getting dressed and drove to the hospital in Misaki's light blue car, defying the speed limit and laws of physics as he drove. As he parked illegally in the middle of the hospital driveway, he remembered that his last visit had been to see a near-dying Ritsuka. Misaki had brought flowers thinking it was Seimei lying in the hospital. He forgot why he had let her live.

He had no trouble getting the number to Soubi's room because his Fighter had anticipated his coming and asked the nurse to let in 'a tall handsome boy with dark hair' whenever he came. Seimei liked that about Soubi: he was no coward. He knew his punishment would last and he took it like a man, despite his less than manly appearance.

Soubi's room was bleak and boring, like most hospital rooms were, but there was a 'Get well soon!' yellow and purple card staring back at Seimei from the nightstand. Seimei picked it up slowly, aware of Soubi's eyes watching him submissively, and opened it. He had to squint to decipher the chicken scratch.

__

I know who did this to you Soubi! Its Seimei again isnt it? Lemme at him and Ill deal with him for you. Dont let him do this to you...

Come back soon.

Love, Kyo.

"Has your friend not heard of proper punctuation?" he inquired half-heartedly. "Or is he too lazy to bother?"

"The latter," Soubi answered calmly. Seimei eyed him more thoughtfully than aggressively, though, so Soubi sat up and stared at the wall in front of him. "You want to know where Ritsuka is?"

"You had something to do with it?" he snarled. Soubi shrugged.

"I was asked to get you away from the house for an hour or two. I didn't touch him."

Seimei felt his blood boil in his veins with rage and he crumpled the card in his hand until it wasn't much more than a bumpy ball of paper. Soubi watched it roll across the floor when his Sacrifice let it fall out of his hand like a dog.

"You desobeyed me _and _you helped someone hurt my brother. Tell me who - no, let me guess, it's that effeminate sociopath isn't it? You'd better tell me everything, Soubi," he warned as gently as he could so as not to be overheard by passing nurses and doctors. He could not afford to be kicked out now.

Soubi, surprisingly, had never met Nisei more than once or twice, but he'd only needed fifteen seconds with the man to know that was who Seimei was talking about.

"Nisei took Ritsuka. I do not know why."

"Why would you listen to him? Or are you that appalingly stupid?" Soubi certainly felt stupid, on top of feeling quite ashamed.

"He said that he could erase your name from me - being your true Fighter - if he wanted to. He told me to get you away and he would leave me alone. I don't want to be separated from you, Seimei."

Seimei bristled and shivered with disgust. The room smelled so strongly of sterilization that it made his nerves even more jumpy - and they were shot to begin with. Soubi had never seen Seimei look quite so...distressed.

"You really are stupid. Nisei can't do that, even I can't do that," Seimei roared, forgetting to be quiet. Soubi jumped. "You chose him over me, but I'll deal with you once I'm done with Nisei. Tell me where he went," he added, slightly calmer.

"I didn't chose-" he stopped himself midsentence. "I don't know. He didn't tell me much..."

Seimei didn't stick around to find out what else he knew. He exited the hospital and was unsurprised to find that the car had been towed and was no longer there. He jogged down to the parking lot and found an unlocked car near the emergency entrance. He managed to the get the car going without the keys and sped out onto the highway, going faster still.

"Where would Nisei go to hide...?"

xXxXxXx

"Stop squirming, little Ritsuka, or I'll drop you early," said Nisei giddily. He was walking down the side of a high clfif overlooking the sea, churning and roaring as the storm hit its peak, Ritsuka slung over his shoulder. Ritsuka could see the waves swallowing up the sharp rocks greedily, as they would with his body once it broke on one of the teeth-like rocks. If he squirmed, Nisei would drop him and he would fall. The tears on his cheeks went unnoticed thanks to the rain wetting his face.

"Why? I've never done anything to you!" he wailed, looking away from the deadly cliff. He felt Nisei laugh.

"You're taking what's most precious away from me, and that's quite unnaceptable. I can't sabotage you either - he just thinks you're so _perfect_, unlike me. Once you're gone he won't have much choice, will he? Don't be a child and do as you're told."

So Ritsuka shut up. Nisei finally seemed to find his favorite spot and stopped, his feet three inches from the edge of the cliff. He looked down, smiling as if it were a bright sunny day at the beach. He then took Ritsuka into his arms bridal-style and held out his arms so the boy was dangling over the edge of the cliff, stiff and wide-eyed.

"You might as well enjoy the fall."

**...Dun dun dun**


	12. Chapter 12

**This chapter is called…**

**_Oh no someone dies!1_**

"You might as well enjoy the fall…"

Ritsuka tried to scream – possibly for the last time – but his lungs failed him; instead, he clung to Nisei as best he could, chest heaving frantically. It was hard to swallow the fact that he was going to die before he'd done anything significant in his life. And then he was still a virgin, which even in his panic he nearly groaned at. It was too late for Seimei to come, but he wished he could have at least said a proper goodbye before Seimei had left. Too late now.

But then both boys were yanked backwards and Nisei's squawking elevator to an almost painful level. He kept his hold on Ritsuka but was panicking now too, trying to wrench around and see who was dragging him backwards. The person was strong but he was shaking, hands pulling at Nisei's clothes and hair. But they were slowly inching back towards solid ground and Ritsuka cried out in relief when he was now being held over damp soil. He could still hear the ocean roaring like a caged beast, but now it sounded a little bit relaxing instead of terrifying.

"Get your hands _off of me_!" Nisei yelled, dropping Ritsuka to attempt getting himself free. Ritsuka groaned as he hit the ground and rolled onto his back to see what exactly was going on.

The businessman who had been with Nisei earlier was holding the screaming and thrashing sociopath tightly, despite the shaking. For all Nisei was cunning, it wasn't cutting it anymore; Takaya clearly had the upper hand. Without thinking, Ritsuka stumbled to his feet, lunged himself towards the long-haired man and wrenched his arm into a painful-looking position, satisfying in the sickening crack it produced. Nisei tried to bite him since both his hands were being held down but Ritsuka made sure his limbs were far enough from the man's sharp teeth. He was so blinded by rage that even when the arm started turning a vicious purple color he kept on twisting and yanking on it until it hardly looked like an arm at all, Nisei whimpering pathetically. Soon they were far away from the cliff and Takaya pinned Nisei to the ground and held him there.

"What are you doing? Now he's going to run off and rat us out! I'm too young and beautiful to go to prison," the captured man whimpered, pulling uselessly against the hands holding him down. Ritsuka sneered down at him.

"It's wrong, Nisei…I'm sorry. But you'll be fine." He was lying, but at least Ritsuka would believe him.

"It's _wrong_? Says the thieving drug-addict, but apparently that's so much _better_," he sneered, no longer trying to get free. Takaya merely shook his head sadly, but maybe more at himself than at Nisei.

"At least I don't take people's lives away from them."

He then pressed his hand against Nisei's mouth – wary of the teeth – and pinched his nose until the long-haired man could no longer struggle and fell unconscious, head lolling off to one side. He then careful got up, making sure the man wasn't just faking it, before turning to the young Aoyagi boy who was sitting on the ground, touching his wounds.

"Are you okay?" he rumbled, holding out his hand. Ritsuka took it and stood up, still a bit dizzy, but the businessman's hands steadied him.

"No…" he moaned, fingering the gash on the back of his head.

"I'll get you to a hospital, alright? They'll patch you up and then your parents can come pick you up and take you home."

Ritsuka blinked stupidly as the man began walking away, pulling keys out of his pant pocket.

"Wait…" The man turned around, eyebrows raised. "Who are you?"

Takaya scratched the back of his head, eyeing Seimei's brother tiredly. He really wished he could just drop the kid off and go before Seimei came and made it a long, excruciatingly painful day for him. Ritsuka would no doubt tell him he was one of the men who had kidnapped him and now Seimei would pull all the strings at his disposition to catch him – it wouldn't just be something he had to do anymore; it would be his top priority. Takaya shivered and thought of his daughter waiting for him at home.

"You already know my name," he muttered. Ritsuka nodded shyly. "I'm the President of an electric company – for now. I have a daughter and a wife – is that enough?"

"Nisei called you a thieving drug-addict…why?" Ritsuka pushed again, dragging his nails on the dried blood caked all over his face. It gathered under the nail and made it look as though he'd attacked someone – and he had.

For some reason, despite Ritsuka being Seimei's younger brother, the businessman somewhat liked the young teenager. The two siblings were so different - looks excluded – that it was hard to believe they were siblings at all. The ocean was still making an awful lot of noise in the background and Takaya wanted to yell at it to shut up.

"Because I am. I spent all my money on drugs, and to get rid of my debt I contacted your brother and, once he was done, never held up my end of the bargain. He sortof has it in for me," Tayaka laughed humourlessly. It was a dry kind of humour, he'd tell you.

"Seimei? Maybe it's another Seimei!" Ritsuka screamed, nervously jumping from one foot to the other now. Takaya blinked. "Seimei likes to read and then comes home and plays with me. He's not a bad person. You're accusing the wrong man!" he snapped.

"Seimei Aoyagi, that's whom I'm referring to. You don't know much about him, do you?"

He wasn't sure what possessed him to say _that_. The kid looked heartbroken, if anything.

"I do! I know everything about Seimei!" the boy spat, tail fluffed in anger. "And besides, if he did you a favour the least you could do is do what you agreed to do. Thank you very much for saving me, but I won't go with you to the hospital."

And then Ritsuka stormed off, leaving a stunned Takaya standing with his back to the edge of the cliff. Ritsuka was making his way towards the parking lot, which he'd remembered while Nisei was dragging him, but before he reached it he circled it and met the highway instead. He didn't want to see Takaya before he left. If he'd had any confidence in his potential driving skills he might have taken the keys off Nisei's body and tried to drive his car home, but he was alive for now and wanted to keep it that way. When he thought of hitchhiking home, he shivered violently in fear, which in turn insulted his virility.

"I'm not scared!" he yelled at no one in particular. Although, the thought of climbing into a car with a total stranger would be scary for anyone…right?

He decided against it, so he pulled out his cell phone and dialled the only number on speed dial as he was walking a safe distance away from the cliff where he was certain Nisei wouldn't find him, should he wake up.

xXxXxXxXxXx

After causing a total of seven accidents and running over one dog and two skunks, Seimei finally parked his car in front of a paint store and slammed his hand so hard into the car's radio that it cracked and he was left without a radio for an undetermined length of time. He then lay his head against the window, eyeing his mother's ugly steering wheel cover disdainfully. He'd checked every place Nisei had ever been for as long as he could remember and found _nothing_. Not a single lead. And knowing that it was out of his control was so infuriating that his tail was permanently rigid in anger. He'd called Ritsuka's cell phone but it hadn't picked up, and now it was late at night and his brother was out with his unstable Fighter.

A young woman came towards the car after seeing him abuse the stereo and knocked on the window as if wanting to talk to him – and she _did_. Seimei instinctively went to start the car but instead opened the car door as fast as he could. The door hit the woman with a loud bang and she was propelled backwards, too stunned to say anything. He then slammed the door shut again and locked the doors, ignoring her indignant screams. She ran off towards her friends, yelling and pointing and stomping. They all took their bags and left, glaring daggers at him.

When his phone rang he nearly banged his head on the steering wheel. The distinctive ringtone indicated who the caller was, so he pulled the phone out of his pocket and pressed the 'talk' button almost hard enough to break it.

"Ritsuka!" he snapped into the phone. He could almost hear his brother cringe.

"I'm, umm….can you pick me up?" He sounded dazed but otherwise healthy and Seimei relaxed – a little.

"What happened?" He opted to ignore Ritsuka's request until he was fully briefed. He could hear the wind picking up wherever Ritsuka was, as well as cars zooming past at top speed. He was near a highway.

"Nothing. I went for a walk and got lost, but then some drunk people roughed me up a bit," he explained as steadily as he could. Even if Seimei hadn't known in advance he was lying, his bad lying skills would have done it.

"You're lying," he accused half-heartedly. "Where's Nisei?" he spat.

"…he's unconscious." Ritsuka sounded defeated.

"Where are you?"

"Route 105, at the observation park near the sea," he recited the large green sign planted next to the highway.

"Don't move," Seimei growled.

He manoeuvred the car out of the parking lot and drove out at slightly less frantic speed towards the well-known highway. At least Ritsuka was safe and Nisei hadn't yet scampered off like a mouse. He refused to admit, even to himself, that his heart had beaten faster than it should while he was looking around. It was very unbecoming, if such a word could ever be used to describe Seimei. But now his head was clear and he could finally drive like a sensible – albeit a very hurried one – person. As he was trying to make the radio work despite it being nearly split in half he remembered a phrase he'd read once.

_Love makes us all crazy._

He remembered thinking the author was a fool and a love-struck whelp who could only write well-constructed sentences and apply good metaphors. But now he found that it rang true, although he would argue that he was _not_, in any sense of the word, crazy. But for him to publically assault a woman, kill animals and possibly people in his hurry and destroy a radio was pretty damn crazy, all things considered.

He was almost at the park when he spotted Ritsuka standing like a scarecrow on the side of the road, looking positively lost. Seimei cursed and slowed down, ignoring the angry honks that resounded. Ritsuka recognized Misaki's car and got into the passenger's side, pressing his face into Seimei's shirt as soon as he was buckled in and the door was closed. Seimei noticed that blood matting his brother's silky hair and decorating his face, as well as the various bruises and other wounds all over his body. And then he decided to do something completely unorthodox.

"Let's go home."

And Ritsuka nodded in his shirt, hands clutching the fabric now too. Seimei figured he could always find Nisei again, or trick him into coming back. For now, he just wanted to fix his brother up and make him some food – surely he was hungry. As if in tuned with his thoughts, Ritsuka's stomach grumbled loudly. The younger boy managed a small smile.

Seimei picked up some fast food on the road and watched with one eye still on the road as Ritsuka shoved food down his throat like a starved animal. Normally he would try to get Ritsuka to eat like a civilized person, but for the moment he didn't care enough to act out on it. He was offered a handful of fries and ate them despite hating McDonald's food with a passion, because Ritsuka smiled when he did.

Once they got home, Seimei herded Ritsuka upstairs, picking up some things from the bathroom as they headed to his room. Ritsuka sat on the bed as he disinfected and bandaged most of the wounds and put some ice on Ritsuka's sore shoulder. They were relatively quiet, neither knowing quite what to say. Ritsuka could feel his brother's breath on the back of his neck and shivered involuntarily.

"Are you still hungry?" Seimei rumbled, pulling the icepack away and rubbing his shoulder instead. Ritsuka sighed in relief and shook his head. "Will you tell me what happened now?"

The younger boy looked down at his hands; they were still full of blood. He looked like the werewolves in movies after a full moon night. He owed Seimei an explication but he deigned to give it to him – somehow it felt like _his _battle, even though he knew he'd just been a pawn in a game between his brother and Nisei. He didn't want to drag Seimei into it, although he already was. He began with waking up upside down and finished with leaving Takaya near the cliff. Seimei was quiet as he listened and never stopped his massage. Ritsuka was sure his brain was working hard despite Seimei's calm, occasionally smiling face.

"…Takaya said you were a bad person, and you wanted to hurt him. I told him he had the wrong person."

Ritsuka was hoping Seimei would agree with him and say that Takaya had the wrong person. But Seimei remained silent, and for the first time Ritsuka felt the elder respond physically to what he was saying: his hands tightened ever so slightly on Ritsuka's shoulder.

"Are you a bad person?" Ritsuka asked under his breath once he thought the silence had gone on long enough. To his surprise, Seimei kissed his ear and hugged him from behind.

"I'm just trying to make the world a suitable place for us," he explained, busying himself by kissing Ritsuka's neck from behind. His brother squirmed and tried to muffle his giggles.

"It's not a suitable place already?" he inquired, ears twitching.

"No – but don't worry, it will be. Your big brother will take care of it," he teased and Ritsuka giggled again. When he stopped, Seimei turned him over so they were facing each other.

"Have you killed people, Seimei?"

It was almost inaudible and Ritsuka was staring at anything but his brother when he asked that. He wasn't even sure he wanted to know, or cared for that matter. What would it change? Seimei wouldn't kill _him_…would he?

"Have I killed who?" Seimei repeated uneasily.

"People! Men and woman! Humans!" Ritsuka yelled, suddenly frightened. Then Seimei smiled and Ritsuka frowned, puzzled.

"Yes." Then he pressed his lips against Ritsuka's, his tail flicking gracefully behind him. The youngest brother was still for a while before he responded, kissing back somewhat stiffly. He blindly grabbed Seimei's tail as it flicked close by and rubbed it, causing Seimei to groan. When Seimei's mouth invaded his mouth, he crawled into the taller boy's lap and wrapped his arms around his neck, moaning softly. Ritsuka whined softly when Seimei pulled away.

"You're not upset?" he asked the hazy-minded teenager in his lap. Ritsuka blinked stupidly.

"…about what?" he mumbled, kissing Seimei's neck. Seimei just smiled again.

"Let's go to bed," he breathed into Ritsuka's cat ear; it twitched as the hot breath hit it.

"What? No," he whimpered, busy trying to pull Seimei's shirt up. Seimei let him take it off since he'd be sleeping without it anyway. When he lay down, Ritsuka looked at him, horrified. "You were distracting me!" he gasped.

"Take of your shirt and sleep with me," Seimei insisted, patting the spot on the bed next to him. Ritsuka obeyed, although grudgingly and when he was on the bed Seimei pulled him closer and wrapped his arms around him.

xXxXxXxXx

"Did you see that report on the news last night? It's gross!" a short-haired girl yelled while opening a carton of milk. A couple of classmates, Ritsuka included, looked up from their lunches to look at her.

"What are you talking about?" inquired the freckle-faced in front of Ritsuka. The girl shook her head in disbelief.

"It was all over the news, like, all day! This kid found out that his parents were – get this – brother and sister. And now there are masses hanging out in from of their home saying that it's wrong and trying to get them arrested. I mean, it's not worth arresting over, but," she paused to take a sip of her milk. People were listening intently now, ears pricked forward (except those who had none anymore), "it's just gross. I'd never think about sleeping with like, my brother, or even kissing him. And the parents were saying that it shouldn't make any difference but it _does_, doesn't it? Besides, there's a chance the kid has like…fucked up chromosomes, or something."

People were nodding and vocalizing their agreement bit Ritsuka was just staring at his food, suddenly feeling very queasy. He thought of Seimei's smiling face, his slightly wavy hair, the way he walked so gracefully, how he always cleaned everything, his kisses…he looked at the trashcan, wondering if he should have it next to him.

"Some people are just fucked up," the freckle-faced boy declared, and half the room nodded their heads. He then turned to Ritsuka, sandwich in hand. "Imagine if you slept with your brother. I mean, he's good looking and all, but…like, ew, right? My sister's a nerd so I cringe even thinking about it," he snorted, licking mayonnaise off one of his fingers. Ritsuka just shrugged.

When the school day was over, Ritsuka declined all offers to walk home with him and walked alone, head bowed. It was wrong, wasn't it? He'd assumed that it would always be okay and that people would accept it because it was love and it shouldn't matter. But no one would ever accept him sleeping with his brother once he did, and on top of that they were both boys. He wondered if they were both severely fucked up and just hadn't realized it yet. No, he hadn't been fucked up as a child; it was all Seimei's doing…

"How was school today?"

Ritsuka glared at Seimei over his homework; his brother was standing in his room, a towel drying off his hair. He was smiling again. He was just going to ignore him when Seimei leaned down and kissed him, slipping one hand into his hair. His tail fluffed and he shoved his brother off with his hands, seething.

"Stop it! This is all your fault! I was fine before you came and fucked me up. You _like_ messing with people's heads, and you're messing with mine – but I won't stand for it! Get out! Unlike you, I'm normal and I like girls who _aren't _related to me."

When Seimei didn't move, Ritsuka pushed his body out his room and slammed the door, oblivious to the tears dripping down his face. He listened but could only hear Seimei's regular breathing.

_What am I hoping for? That he'll beg for me to let him in? But I don't want that…I think…_

But Seimei didn't ask to be let back in; in fact he didn't say anything. He walked towards his room and Ritsuka heard his online game come on. Seimei was acting like nothing was wrong. He even took out his cell phone and talked to someone on the other line in a perfectly even voice.

"He really was just messing with me…"

**Eeeeeeendddd…for now. **

**Lol I was joking, no one dies.**

**…I don't know how it's going to end, or even if it will end. I'm so confused. I was thinking of bringing Ritsuka's Fighter but…I mean…how off topic can I get without it getting boring? Seriously. I thought of killing Ritsuka. Or Seimei. Or having Seimei leave cause he hurt Ritsuka. Or Ritsuka never wanting to continue relationshipping (not a word) with Seimei. Or the world ending. Or Nisei killing Ritsuka. Or Ritsuka loosing his memories. Or Seimei lying about being in love.**

**..but hey, read and review and I'll write fast. It strokes my writing ego :) Lol…yes, ego. Thank you for suggestions though, they kinda help. And to every other awesome reader…and whatnot…**

**It's not a cliffhanger (really)…aren't you so happy?**


	13. Chapter 13

**I actually have a decent title for this chapter (I know, OMFG)**

**Remember me**

Ritsuka spent an entire weekend holed up like a mouse in his room, feeding off the candy supplies and cereal **(I have cereal stored in my room…?)** stored in his room. Sometimes he stared aimlessly out the window, huddled in a warm wool blanket, watching birds flap around the neighbour's hedges stupidly. Other times he watched television or played video games with the volume on as high as it could go, as if to drown out his own thoughts. Anything, really, to avoid facing off with his brother; one-on-one, face-to-face, solo. He hadn't the courage – not yet.

Thrice Seimei knocked on the door and left food in front of his bedroom door, but said nothing before going about his business as usual. Despite his wish for Seimei to remain far away from him, Ritsuka was mad each time he heard Seimei walk past and say nothing, and he soon realized that he was listening for it, so he purposefully left the food where it had been dropped and after a day Seimei stopped trying. Once the younger boy had a horrible stomach ache from eating nothing but corn flakes and sugar canes and he unconsciously waited patiently for Seimei to come give him medicine before remembering that no such thing would happen. In his fury he had thrown his trashcan out the window and hit the neighbour's poor daughter on the head. She began to cry and wail but when her mother came out to see what the fuss was about, Ritsuka had already hidden under his bed.

He realized somewhat glumly that all his misery was self-inflicted and maybe a little selfish. Seimei hadn't outright done anything to deserve his horrible outburst, but Ritsuka didn't feel ready to forgive him yet…

On Monday morning, he had no choice but to leave his room; he also learned that going out the window hurt. He limped back inside and resigned to take the risk of meeting Seimei sometime during the course of the morning. He sat on the sofa eating toast, eyes flicking towards the staircase nervously. When he went to brush his teeth (his mouth stunk horribly by then), he saw that Seimei had already left. He'd planned ahead so they wouldn't meet. Ritsuka felt a little bit like crying.

Someone at school pointed out that he was acting weird, and all he could do was shrug. Erika came and talked to him for the first time in several weeks but he couldn't find it in himself to be happy about it. His friends left the table to give them some _privacy_, as they so subtly put it, but it was apparent that neither party had anything but awkward conversation planned. When she finally asked how he was doing, all he could muster was a dry 'same shit, different day', to which she seemed insulted and left, mumbling something about sarcasm. Whatever.

In a last effort to fight off loneliness and social expulsion, he invited the freckle-faced boy to walk home with him. They passed a cupcake shop and the boy stopped in his tracks, smiling in a dazed manner.

"Milla loves cupcakes. I should get her some!" he piped. "She was mad at me for working on her birthday; this should make up for it. What do you think?" he asked, suddenly serious.

"I think it's _brilliant_," he gasped truthfully.

Both boys went into the cupcake shop and were hypnotized by the smell of batter, butter, sugar and most importantly, icing. Hundreds of coloured cupcakes lay in stashes behind a glass pane and they hurriedly ordered some and paid. The boy ordered a dozen chrysanthemum-style ones and three simple chocolate cupcakes while Ritsuka ordered two vanilla and chocolate ones; they sat and ate them in the shop, chatting. And then it hit him.

_Cupcakes make everyone happy. They bring about forgiveness._

"…hey, I'm going to get some more," Ritsuka announced, standing up. The boy shrugged and continued ravishing a huge black pastry.

He looked at every kind and color or cupcake, trying to pick out the best ones. The flower kind was too feminine. The yellows and oranges and pinks were too girly as well. Some had odd things like Xbox controllers or sugar doves on top, but Ritsuka didn't see Seimei getting excited over some little sugar-carved figurine. What did Seimei like…?

_Books._

None of the cupcakes had books on top – not that he had hoped much, honestly.

_He likes…me._

There was even less hope of finding a cupcake with himself carved in sugar; he was about to give up when he spotted some 'ear and tail' cupcakes stashed at the very end of the display. One of them had black, triangular ears and a long, slim tail like his own and he quickly bought it as if someone else was going to steal it from him. He was sad that they only had one, but he prayed it would be enough to fix his mistake…

"Why are we leaving? Aren't you going to eat that one?"

"It's for dessert," he explained as he dragged his friend out of the sweet-smelling shop.

"Watch it! I'm going to drop my forgiveness present…" he whined.

When they separated, Ritsuka sped up to a jog, clutching the cupcake box to his chest like a lifeline. When he got home, he arranged his shoes and coat cleanly, so Seimei would see that he making an effort to be orderly and nice.

He went to the kitchen to put the cupcake in the refrigerator when he saw Seimei standing – or, to be exact, bending – in front of a sitting Soubi, their faces inches apart. Ritsuka recognized the man thanks to his trademark long hair and round glasses. Seimei had both hands clutching Soubi's shirt, eyes fixed on the other man's face but too angled for Ritsuka to be able to see the emotion in them. There was a fiery emotion in Soubi's eyes, so unlike Seimei's cold ones, but nothing about Soubi's body language screamed fear or even some negative emotion. They were….fooling around?

The cupcake box in Ritsuka's hand was promptly squashed and the subsequent noise caused Seimei's attention to change focus. His cold, dark eyes were now on Ritsuka who stood there, motionless and angry. But instead of lashing out like he wanted to be, he dropped the damaged box on the kitchen counter and fled upstairs to his room.

"What's wrong with him?" Soubi breathed, a little stunned. Seimei simply shrugged.

"Go home. I'll deal with you later," he snapped, backing off quickly. The slim boy was eyeing the mangled box curiously so Soubi took this distraction as a blessing and made his way out of the Aoyagi household.

Meanwhile, Seimei picked up the simple white box and opened it slowly, instinctively being cautious; but it was only a small cupcake, now properly squished and nearly split in half. Seimei briefly wondered if Ritsuka was running out of food up there and had stopped to buy some more after school. For the first time since Friday they had been in the same room, so maybe Ritsuka would allow him to feed him that night. As much as it pained him to admit it, he was considerably worried that Ritsuka was starving alone in his room. He could always force his way inside…

_He should come around on his own. And if he doesn't, there's nothing I can do about it._

Being helpless, he found out over the past three days, didn't suit him very well. It made him nervous, anxious and irregularly snappy. And the thought of erasing Ritsuka's memories was getting increasingly appealing as the days went by – it seemed that Ritsuka was hurt and upset now more than ever and only a fool would wonder why. Maybe it would be for the best to start over on a blank canvas. A canvas he maybe wouldn't paint on anymore.

He tried for a while to revive the dead cupcake, but failed utterly and instead moulded the useable chunks into a cake look-alike. It was an insult to art, but perfectly edible. He decided not to give it to Ritsuka unless he decided to eat supper, or some of it. Seimei scoured the cabinets and found the necessary ingredients to make lasagna, something even in his anger Ritsuka would never be able to resist. He threw in more cheese than any reasonable cook would consider, because it was Ritsuka's favourite part of the recipe and always begged for more cheese. He was secretly glad when he saw Ritsuka poke his head into the kitchen, lured in by the smell while on his way to the bathroom.

"Lasagna?" he mumbled softly, still standing near the door as if ready to bolt.

"Yes – extra cheese," he added with a smile, gracefully placing a strand of hair behind his ear.

Ritsuka was now eyeing the cupcake remake sitting next to the fridge, ears veering sideways in thought.

"You can't eat it until after supper," he warned before turning back to the food. He was having some serious issues with the oven and was fighting to keep his patience with it. When he glanced back at the small silhouette huddled in the doorway, he was honestly a bit disappointed to see that his little brother looked deflated at the sight of the cupcake.

_Isn't it good enough?_

"I did my best, but you damaged it quite a bit when you held it so tight. Think of it as a cake." He flashed his brother a smile. Instead of smiling back, Ritsuka surprised him with a question.

"Do _you _like it?" he whispered, sitting down hesitantly on a stool near the kitchen counter. His small body was wrapped in a thick blanket despite it being rather warm inside the house.

"I suppose, originally it looked very good." Was all he could think of. The _stupid _oven!

The silence was thick as Seimei went about physically abusing the oven to get it to work and periodically adding cheese when it wasn't thick enough to Ritsuka's standards. Their mother was at the hospital getting her weekly mental checkup so all was quiet until Ritsuka turned on the television, if only to end the silence. He put it on as low as it could go.

"Are we still brothers?"

Seimei stopped watching the news in his peripheral vision and turned to Ritsuka, the lasagna in his gloved hands. He quickly dropped it on the kitchen counter and discarded the awful duck-print oven mittens.

"Of course. Why wouldn't we be?"

He wouldn't even tell himself, as he cut the lasagne into hefty portions, that the question got him nervous again. How could Ritsuka do this to him so easily? Silently, he slid a plate in front of Ritsuka and then served himself.

"Because we don't get along anymore…and I get mad at Seimei often," he mumbled as he picked around his food with a fork.

Hearing Ritsuka refer to him in a 3rd person view was either good or bad; he was hoping for good and leaning towards bad. Did it mean that Ritsuka couldn't even talk to him about what was bothering him without pretending he wasn't really there? Suddenly no longer hungry, he got up and put his plate in the refrigerator for later. Ritsuka was looking at him hopefully, as though waiting for him to say something that would make everything better, just like when they were kids. There had to be a way to make things well again.

"I'll make it better soon, I promise."

He had promised. There was no worming out of things anymore. But Ritsuka seemed satisfied and went about eating his lasagna with newfound gusto, unaware of what was about to happen to him now that he'd sealed his own fate.

He may have noticed something odd when Seimei made a big fuss of walking him through his usual bedtime routine and asking him weird, unusual questions like: 'Do you have a bank account?' or 'What's your favourite color? Food? Animal? Celebrity? Show?'.

And when Ritsuka was tucked in bed and too drowsy to be very aware, he asked his older sibling what all the questions were for. Seimei knew most of his favorites!

"So I don't make a mistake when I help you remember them."

And then he smiled, that usual warm, charming smile that Ritsuka couldn't help retaliate. He then fell asleep and slept well for the first time in days.

xXxXxXx

"Ritsuka." A voice insisted. It was so _sharp_.

"Ri-tsu-ka," he repeated, eyes out the window and far from the hospital room.

"That's your name." Another voice, a little softer. He didn't recognize that one, however.

"Okay," he agreed, still lost somewhere where the doctors couldn't find him.

"Your mother's name is Misaki," it continued. He wondered briefly if the name had a face – wait, of course it did. He scolded himself for being that 'out in the clouds'.

"Mi-sa-ki."

"And your brother's name was-"

"Sei-mei."

The doctors were proud of him for remembering that, so they gave him a brownie and a drawing pad, which he ate and drew on respectively. One was always there, just to watch. It was a young woman today; she wore her hair up in a ponytail and some heels that he felt were inappropriate for a hospital. Once he was done drawing, she took his pad away and gave it to a nurse. He knew they were going to look at it and make conclusions that even he didn't understand. And then try to fix his mind. He had drawn someone's face this time, someone he thought he knew. He remembered purple eyes like his own watching him, and so he drew them along with the face he believed went along with them. And it was such a _handsome _face.

"Was that your brother?" the woman asked him after she'd given the pad away. She looked sad too. When he shrugged, she sighed and cast her eyes downwards. "I'm so sorry…"

"Why?" he wondered, curious. Did she not like him? Oh, but he was so nice…wasn't he?

"I'm sure you must miss him very much. It's so unfortunate that you had to see your brother di-" she was cut off when an older male doctor made mad, panicked arm movements near the door. She made a horrified face. "Oh dear, was I not supposed to say that…?" The doctor shook his head. The woman left, looking distressed. When the older doctor made to leave, Ritsuka called him and he went to stand next to his patient, albeit hesitantly.

"Seimei died?" his voice cracked midsentence. His chest hurt, something he couldn't remember ever feeling, and he wanted it to go away.

"I'm afraid so. You witnessed what happened and your mind simply collapsed, putting you where you are now. I really am sorry." But his eyes told another story. He couldn't care less even if he tried. Ritsuka lay down and pretended to fall asleep until the man left with his annoyingly clean shoes and his snobby visage.

But Seimei, the only person he could remember, was dead and now he was alone in the world. No amount of furrowing in the blankets would make the pain go away so he pulled out his iPod – which they had returned to him as soon as he'd awoken. The music eventually lulled him to sleep and he was freed from whatever pain overcame him until he deigned to wake up the following morning.

xXxXxXx

Seimei sat in Soubi's kitchen, eyeing the dirt patch on the tabletop with disgust; he was still in the tuxedo he'd worn for a funeral that day. Soubi was two minutes from being late and Seimei had no faith that he would be on time. In the meantime, he pulled out his cell phone and lazily flipped through his decidedly massive inventory of pictures, all featuring none other than his little brother. Here he was playing basketball and failing at it, and then struggling with the upper part of his pyjama on another shot. He'd uploaded them from his computer so he could carry them around, now that he no longer had easy access to the computer in his old room.

Soubi came in, clutching the desired envelope and wincing at the cold that seeped in through the open doorway. Winter was certainly coming along fast. He wasn't even late.

"The reports from the hospital," Soubi explained, although Seimei already knew. The Sacrifice pulled out several papers and scanned them while Soubi went to get some food from one of the higher cabinets.

Seimei was amused that the doctors were so worried that the only thing Ritsuka seemed to remember was him – his name, his face and other little insignificant details such as his favourite drink. It was only natural but there was no way to inform the doctor of it. Apparently his brother was 'introvert, quiet and depressed'. The depressed part drew his attention and he looked into the psychologists' report to find something similar. It was thanks to the death of his brother, she said. He was lost, abandoned.

_It's for the best. Don't worry – I'm still there._

Seimei stretched languidly, his muscles popping subtly. Soubi offered him a slice of buttered bread and he took it. He had a place of his own, but was taking the break from family life to learn a bit about his Fighter. If anything, he found it amusing that his Fighter had a life of his own. It was an artsy life filled with smoking and eating and kidding around with a blonde-haired, pierced man. He would compare it, should he be compelled to, watching one's pet play at, say, a dog park. But he wouldn't deny that he somewhat enjoyed hanging around Soubi's clean but still 'lived-in' apartment that smelled like smoke and fancy shampoo.

"He seemed well enough," Soubi put in after hanging up on Kyo. "He was drawing. He likes to draw, it would seem. He does it often."

Soubi had been striped of his fighting duties for the time being to take his place as Ritsuka's indirect bodyguard. Seimei wanted his brother looked after, but he needed to be pulling the strings – hence Soubi's presence at all hours of the day. He was only allowed to leave once Ritsuka was asleep, and then he had six hours to do whatever he pleased and sleep. As for Nisei, once he'd recovered from the head trauma Seimei had inflicted on him some weeks ago, he was out doing Seimei's dirty work – alone. Seimei couldn't care less if Nisei got hurt but was also aware that his lack of interference with the situation was beginning to affect the quality of his work. But no matter what happened, Ritsuka would come first.

"He never did. He always said art was a waste of time and space," Seimei mused aloud. Undoubtedly Soubi would lose respect for Ritsuka in that matter, or would have if it had still been the case. Now Ritsuk was…what? Artsy and depressed. So much like Soubi, in fact. The problem was that it wasn't supposed to have turned out that way.

"I'm glad he turned around on that," Soubi admonished honestly. Seimei hiked one eyebrow but didn't comment.

The situation surrounding his death was ironic, he thought. He had told the police himself that he had seen 'Seimei' being burned in front of his brother's eyes. They hadn't paid enough attention to notice him at all. It hadn't even been hard to switch the dental records they found for his own so that he would be declared dead and Ritsuka, who was only sleeping as the drug took its effect on him, would be considered amnesic from mental shock. Whose body had been a doppelganger of him was irrelevant – and honestly he hadn't bothered to check. Everything that needed to be disposed of had disappeared.

Everything was perfectly executed – perfect.

Except Ritsuka. Ritsuka wasn't doing very well. He needed someone to watch over him, to make sure he ate his vegetables, to ensure he put his dirty clothes in the wash, to scan his love interests – he _shuddered _– and all that. Soubi? No, Soubi had work to do for him that they would be unable to put off in a few weeks' time. Nisei was out of the question. No explanation necessary. No one could do it like he could, simply for nobody loved Ritsuka as deeply as he did. He was the one for the task…and then the simplest idea known to mankind crossed his mind.

"Soubi, what do you know about disguise…?"

xXxXxXx

The ceiling was so _blah_. Like the bathrooms, in fact. Everything was – in a very pretty, elaborate word- blah. He asked a doctor if he could paint it purple and vibrant green and she said no, and after that he didn't speak of colors again.

"Do you feel sad sometimes?"

He shrugged; he didn't trust his wide-eyed, flat-chested psychiatrist.

"Who would you like to talk to? Is there anyone you trust?" she asked sweetly, smiling.

"Seimei," he answered flatly, ears twitching. He had taken to brushing the soft fur in them sometimes up to seven times a day because he wanted them to look very nice when he finally gave them away. Not that he was planning to but…he felt like it would be best to be prepared.

"Seimei's gone, Ritsuka." She had stopped smiling.

"I want to be 'gone' too," he reflected stubbornly, huddling in the chair. He was in a room decorated for a child because he wasn't 16 yet, which legally made him a child. At least this room was somewhat vibrant – but he was pushing it. The entire staff seemed to fear bright colors so even the green and blue in there was dull and faded.

"You want to die?"

"I want to remember – and then maybe."

They left it at that, and as he was leaving he leaned over and saw what she wrote. Apparently, he was 'not making any progress'. Oh, what a shame, he thought.

He was led back to his room and offered his bland, tasteless dinner, which he promptly chucked out of the window. He watched the mashed potatoes roll down the hill like a rock and get stuck behind one of an ambulance truck's wheels. As for the meat, its journey ended halfway down when it hit a tree and lay on one of the branches like a dead rodent.

He went back to his bed and began to draw the little things he could remember: lasagna, a purple-eyed boy, some yellow flowers, a purple-eyed boy, a slept-in bed, a purple-eyed boy, a purple-eyed boy…he had a lot of drawings of the purple-eyed boy. His mind told him the drawings were not doing the man justice and he swore to get better and do it right. He was too absorbed in his drawings of a tall, slim silhouette walking away in a snowy street to hear the door open and close softly. He did, however, feel a set of eyes staring at him so he set down the drawing pad and was met with pair of pretty golden eyes.

The boy was very tall and slim, and so he was familiar, but he didn't recognize the golden eyes and light blonde hair. It was very un-japanese, so he supposed the man was American in lineage. He noticed that the tail and ears were also blonde, and yet their shape and movement were so…achingly attractive in some way.

"Hello," he greeted politely, extending his hand. The man took it and his hands were so warm that Ritsuka blushed. "Who are you? Do I know you?"

The blonde man smiled.

"I'm your Fighter."

xXxXxXx

**First of all…lasagne? Word keeps correcting me. But isn't it lasagna in English? I'm French, so maybe I'm wrong. I mean I say lasagna verbally…anyway, if it is lasagne, my apologies, I will NEVER do such an amateur mistake ever again. **

**A lot of people seemed to warm up to the idea of introducing Ritsuka's Fighter, and I sortof incorporated that with my desire of not getting off track. It IS supposed to be about R & S, not them and everyone else my imagination can possibly come up with…if you HAVEN'T guessed, Seimei is posing at [currently unnamed Fighter]. I think he would be a hot blonde. Maybe, loveless author?**

**Gimme ideas for a name for Fake Fighter X. I don't know. I nearly named my cat Sofa. I do not have a talent when it comes to names. **

**REVIEW, of course, and I'll be happy and, _of course_, fulfill all your desires faster…**

**Hallelujah I know where the story is going! Worry not, people, worry not…**

**p.s: someone asked if I had a grudge against Soubi or anyone else. I don't. All the characters are real cool. Seimei does, however, and that's what you gotta get…kay? **

**OUT **


	14. Chapter 14

**Official chapter name: Oh dear, not Canada…**

**Hi again :)**

He heard Nisei snicker behind his water glass and frowned.

"Joshua Mason?"

"It's _American_," he defended himself flatly. Nisei opted for a slow shrug.

"I like the light hair and fur – it's refreshing," his Fighter purred, eyeing him amusedly. "Does Ritsuka like it?"

Seimei wondered for the umpteenth lime why he was sitting at a small café on some uneven chair, sipping coffee across from Nisei and having what was supposed to be 'pleasant conversation'. At least Nisei seemed to find it pleasant.

"I didn't ask, but he didn't recognize me so it hardly matters."

"What happened, anyway? I want details!" the dark-haired man purred, swirling a straw around in his drink idly. Seimei wanted to snap and tell him to go pester someone else, but he was reluctant to trigger Nisei's aggression by depriving him of _some _attention. Nisei could very well kidnap Ritsuka again if he got too bored or mad. So he decided to indulge his Fighter a little bit.

xXxXxXx

"My what?" the smaller boy whispered as if afraid of being overheard. Seimei noted dully that he had grown a few inches and would rival his own impressive height in a year, give or take a few months.

"Your Fighter. Don't you know what that is?" Ritsuka shook his head shyly. "It means I was born to protect you, and that I know everything about you."

"So you can help me remember who I am?" he dared to hope. If he did, he could impress his doctors and they might release him from the hospital. He had nowhere to go (as far as he knew), but he decided that nowhere was better than the hospital with its bland colors and questionable staff.

When his Fighter nodded, he told himself that he'd had a stroke of luck just then.

Seimei, for the sake of keeping things on the preferred track, didn't press the issue that he should, were he a real Fighter, obey his Sacrifice blindly. He might do everything Ritsuka wished but he wouldn't _obey_. That was Soubi's area of expertise, not his. He smiled softly at his younger brother and reached out to touch his cheek. Ritsuka didn't flinch away as with the doctors and leaned into the touch instead, albeit frowning.

_Why am I letting him touch me?_ He wondered worriedly. _Ohhhh, he smells nice._

Seimei kept contact with his brother as he told him stories about himself; Ritsuka watched with large eyes, fascinated by the life of this person whom he didn't know but would soon have to incarnate. At one point he wondered if he should take notes – apparently he'd liked and disliked a lot of things before – but he figured that would look nerdy and he didn't want the handsome boy to go away. So he just nodded and tried to retain as much as he could until Seimei stopped and told him that he didn't have to remember everything that very day.

At one point two doctors came into the room, having apparently been told that a stranger young man had been conversing with their patient for quite some time. They told him to leave and, when he simply ignored them, threatened to call security. They left to do so and Seimei kissed the crown of Ritsuka's hair before hopping out the window like a cat. Ritsuka's face turned a deep shade of red but the boy was gone before he could even chew him out for doing something so intimate without warning.

Three security guards entered his room and searched it thoroughly before declaring the stranger gone and they left, loudly proclaiming that they wanted donuts. It was the doctor's turn to interrogate him now – and they were mad.

"What did he say to you?"

"Did he claim to know you?"

"Did he touch you?"

"Did he scare you?"

"Are you alright?"

He answered each question with either a yes, a no or an 'I don't remember'. Most of his answers were lies but the doctors didn't care enough to notice. Once they were done jotting things down on a notepad they left and Ritsuka lay down to take a well-deserved nap. Just as he was about to fade out of reality and join his dream world, he felt a hand touch his face again and someone pressed a kiss on his cheek. But they would fade along with his sleep.

xXxXxXx

"Oh, that's nice." Nisei declared dully, actually busy eyeing an effeminate barman lustily. Seimei wondered when exactly Nisei had gone so awry – or was he simply used to Soubi's complete submission? Whatever the reason, he felt that his long-haired Fighter was no longer appreciating the time he wasted on his person, so he decided to leave and let the man stew in loneliness for a couple of weeks.

When he pushed his chair back and stood up, Nisei's eyes snapped off the barman and glued themselves to his Sacrifice. He was making an odd, displeasing grimace.

"You're leaving already?" he whined.

"I think I'll go see Soubi. Spending time with you is useless and unfulfilling – and leave me alone until I call for you. Your presence is irritating," he declared curtly, wrapping his scarf tighter around his slender neck. He'd had to go buy some new clothes to suit his new look – he didn't think changing his exterior was a reason to lose all fashion sense.

If Nisei knew he was just trying to make him jealous by mentioning Soubi, he didn't show. Instead the man crossed his arms over his chest and _pouted_, forgetting all about the barman who was now returning his longing looks. He said nothing as his Sacrifice left but Seimei could hear him making small noises of distress…

Seimei was fishing around for the spare key to Soubi's apartment when his cell phone rang. He flipped it on to see that he'd gotten a text message from Ritsuka asking him to come over. He sighed. At least Ritsuka had found that Seimei had programmed his phone number into Ritsuka's own phone while he was fast asleep.

Instead of answering, he decided to take Soubi's car – recently bought – and make his way to the hospital at once. He only went inside to take Soubi's keys from a coffee table (the Fighter simply watched him quietly) and grab a granola bar from the kitchen to settle his stomach. After all, he didn't know how long he'd be staying in Ritsuka's room.

After driving at high speed to the hospital and parking illegally again, he snuck around the side of the hospital and climbed up the wall as easily as if it were a ladder. He was glad he remembered which window was Ritsuka's. He had a bit of trouble opening the window while hanging on to avoid another trip down four floors, but he finally managed and heaved himself into Ritsuka's hospital room…only to find some small, wide-eyed seven year old peering at him curiously.

"Hello. I'm Suki," the boy screamed, jumping out of bed and lunging at him. Still disoriented, the tall Aoyagi boy was unable to flee in time and was caught in a hug so tight it put snakes to shame. At first he tried to be curt and tell the boy to return to his bed, but when that didn't work he tried sad, angry, nice and then downright mean. Downright mean did the trick – it always did. He straightened his clothes before exiting the boy's room and trying to look like he belonged there while walking down the hall. Some nurses were suspicious and made a move to question him but they decided not to before they could reach him. Unfortunately he realized that he had no clue where Ritsuka was and that the staff had probably been warned to throw out anyone who came asking for him. Maybe that was why they'd moved him to another room.

He turned around and headed for the directory counter near the elevators where two nurses were chatting amicably behind the counter. As he was going to talk to them, a bald doctor came out of his office and rudely bumped into him; Seimei hardly moved but the doctor was forced to face him thanks to the force of impact and Seimei saw a flash of his nametag pinned to his white coat. The man grumpily excused himself and left in a hurry.

"Excuse me, ladies," he addressed the two young nurses. They stopped mid-sentence and turned to face him. "Dr. Shioki needs some extra personnel down at the very end of the hall. I'm not sure what's going on but it seemed urgent."

They were awfully suspicious so he gave them a warm smile; it effectively warmed them up somewhat and they left, murmuring and giggling and looking at him over his shoulder.

"Oh, he's _foreign_! I hope he's still there when we come back. Do you think he's an intern?" he heard one say.

"I hope so. He must be if one of the doctors sent him, don't you think?" the second one squealed.

"You're right! But what…" By then they were too far away to hear and Seimei had found what he was looking for hidden underneath some patient's file: a list of the patients and their room numbers. He dumped the papers back on the desk and hurried down the hall, careful not to cross the nurses again in case they'd found out that there was nothing waiting for them at the end of the hall.

He entered Ritsuka's new room to find several things he did not want to find in his baby brother's room: locked windows and their mother. The woman was standing awkwardly in the room and appeared to have nothing to say. Poor Ritsuka had forgotten that his mother despised him and was trying desperately to talk to her like his doctors wanted. But she remained silent and still and Seimei knew the doctors told her to stay or else she'd be long gone.

"Joshua!" Ritsuka exclaimed when he spotted the blonde boy in his doorway. He'd been worried when the man hadn't answered his text but was glad that his Fighter had acknowledged them and come for him. Maybe it hadn't just been a silly dream or a nasty prank.

At first Seimei looked around for the person Ritsuka was calling out to before remembering that Joshua was him. He smiled again and went to sit down on Ritsuka's bed near his hip, ignoring Misaki. And for a while the feeling was mutual.

"Are you alright? You asked me to come."

Ritsuka nodded shyly and rolled onto his side so he was facing his Fighter. "I just wanted to…um…" he blushed and stuttered, "s-see you."

"I'm glad to see you too," he responded with a smile. He slipped one hand into Ritsuka's hair –it was so silky, even with the hospital's once-per-three-days shower and bath policy – and massaged his scalp gently until the boy fell asleep, face pressed against the side of Seimei's leg. Only when light snored were coming out of Ritsuka's parted lips did Misaki speak.

"Seimei? Is that you?" she called out hoarsely. He supposed that without Ritsuka to scream after at home she no longer spoke and her voice was underused.

"No, that's not me," he snapped, waving a hand at her dismissively. He only realized his mistake when she began sobbing.

"Oh it _is _you, I know it. Only Seimei would treat me like that…I thought you were…were dead. I'm so glad. So glad that you're alive. Let's go home and I'll make you something good to eat," she cooed, smiling, some of her long hair slipping over her bony shoulder. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her smile and only wished that Ritsuka could have seen it before his memories were wiped out.

"I don't know who Seimei is," he declared loudly. "I'm sorry, you have me confused with someone else."

But Misaki would have none of it; she shook her head like a mad person – she was – and pulled on her own hair.

"But Seimei's dead? You look so much like my Seimei…oh, maybe I'm wrong…No, I'm so sure."

Before the little charade could escalade any more, Seimei heard people hurrying towards the room and ducked into Ritsuka's tiny private bathroom. He heard the doctors come in and extract Misaki form the room with soft words. Thankfully she seemed to have forgotten her confusion now that he was away from her and obediently left the room with the doctors.

He decided to let Ritsuka sleep but was unwilling to leave his little brother just yet, so he manoeuvred himself behind the slumbering young boy and wrapped his hands around the frail, slender body. It almost felt like it did _before_. Back when they would sleep together every night and pretend to be asleep hours into the morning just to enjoy it a little longer. He found that he slept better knowing that Ritsuka was with him – safe.

xXxXxXx

Both boys were awoken by a piercing scream. They groggily turned around in the bed and stretched; one might say, watching them, that they looked very alike in their wake-up routine.

"Holy shit, the foreign guy is sleeping in bed with one of the patients!" A pause. "No it's not a joke! They're hugging and every-oh shit they're waking up. DOCTOR!"

Seimei snapped out of his daze and was up and out of the window in a flash. Mercifully, Ritsuka understood that the doctors wouldn't let him see the blonde boy and was didn't talk to him while he was hanging onto the ledge right underneath Ritsuka's window, sighing. Even if it was for his brother, he did not enjoy sneaking around in the least. It was so…inelegant.

He listened to the doctors question Ritsuka about him; Ritsuka denied seeing anyone in his bed with such acting skills that the doctors threatened to fire the nurse who had found them sleeping together. And then the conversation turned to something a bit more attention-worthy.

"Even if he wasn't in your bed, there have been many reports of people seeing him around the hospital and on this floor. You're not safe here anymore. So we've thought it over and we've decided that it might be best if…"

There was a pregnant pause during which the male doctor cleared his throat noisily.

"-If you were transferred to Canada," finished another doctor.

"C-Canada!" Ritsuka yelled, echoing Seimei's thoughts. "Why Canada? It's so far away! I don't want to go!"

"It's not just because of this guy – there is little chance of you ever recovering your memories, Ritsuka. We decided that immersing you in your old life wasn't the way to go. We think it will be healthy for you to start a new life in a new place and meet new people. I know it's far, but we've even found a family that's willing to take you in down there. You can write to your mother or talk to her on the phone all you like. We're only thinking of your well-being, Ritsuka…"

When Ritsuka began crying heavy, thick tears, they thought it was because he was afraid of the unknown. But all Ritsuka could think of was that he would be shipped off far, far away from the only person currently in his life who brought him any comfort at all.

And suddenly joining Seimei up in Heaven sounded so much better.

**…yaaaay, cliffhanger!**

**Oh yeah, whomever suggested that Seimei "serenade Ritsuka in Spanish" after naming him alejandro made me laugh xD I dunno…it's funny. If it was in any way doable, it would have been done. But yeah, the name…I actually don't like it. I wanted to get it over with so. It's American…I think.**

**Oh nooo he's getting shipped to Canada! Lol he gets to die in 7 meters of snow 8 months a year with me and everyone else…**

**Review, of course…please? If it's good review?**

**The image of Seimei hanging off a hospital wall doesn't sit well with me…I just didn't know how else to proceed. If it bothers you too, know this: he's hanging off a wall and being cool, elegant, collected and well-mannered about it. **

**Thanks for reading!**


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